If Sarkozy is centre-right I am an intimate skin rash on an extinct kind of albino mongoose

Coming to this blog shortly: The knee operation. The knee operation.

Kim Jong Il Inspects Knee Clinic

Pyongyang, April 23 (KCNA) -- General Secretary Kim Jong Il gives on-the-spot advice on how to smooth the medial meniscus knee cartilage.

Expecting the Unexpected, and Occam's Razor

'Pataphysics, as you know, is the science of the exception; hence of the unexpected.
Well, in a way; because clearly one is looking for the unexpected. The brain habituates itself to the expected, it is the dangerous unexpected towards which much of its cognitive apparatus is geared. The brain, indeed, dreads the unexpected and has to be ready for it. Brains that did not "attendre l'inattendu" would rapidly fall prey to the motorised lawn-mower of evolution. One hears the clock stop ticking.

In fact it is possible to argue the reverse of the Monty Python case that "NO ONE expects the Spanish Inquisition!": as Kant famously said, "Ich erwarte keine spanische Inquisition" - but we now know that he was - rarely for him - being ironic and that of course that was precisely what he expected.

If one expects the unexpected, and is justified in so doing because the unexpected not infrequently happens, then surely it is the expected that causes one, so often, to be surprised, as are smokers by their lung cancers. Did Joan expect Maxwell's silver hammer? Well, we know that she was "…quizzical/studied pataphysical science in the home" so it is extremely probable.

Occam's razor tells us that the simplest solution is likely to be the more elegant, that one should "shave off" extraneous bits of theory in the interests of parsimony. For example, outside of mental aberration it is simpler, and more elegant, and more likely to be true, that it was not god who created the world complete with fossils not very long ago.

Quantum physics, of course, puts us in a bit of a quandary. Let us simply assert, with Derrida, that it is possible for an object (or, more generally, an event) to be both expected and unexpected; the waveform collapses down to - incredibly! - a paradox when examined. For if it be the one, then it is surely the other, and vice versa.

It is for the above reasons that the Paris-based Collège de 'Pataphysique has so very many subcommittees, and strives towards the pure (what would in lesser hands be bureaucratic) state of targeting every possible exception with its own subcommittee.

The problem here is of course encapsulated by Gödel's theorem, which (vulgarly) states that there will always be a surprise. This should not surprise us. I expect to be surprised, and am rarely disappointed.

International Women's Day - a Modest Contribution & BEAKING NEWS:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!

One can do no better, surely, as a man today than leave this space to the voices (literally) of women -- in this case those of North Korea, you knew it would be that -- and this edifying communiqué from the (north) Korean Central News Agency, entitled SONGS OF WOMEN:

Pyongyang, March 7 (KCNA) -- The people love to sing songs carrying the pride and self-confidence of the women on the general advance towards the high eminence of a great, prosperous and powerful socialist nation.
The song "Love your wife" calling for respecting the women socially is popular among the people.
There are many songs showing the spiritual world of girl-soldiers in the "Persimmon tree company "," Wild flower Company" and other military units. Among them are the songs "Song of coast artillery-women" and "I am a girl-soldier in Songun era".
Reflected in the songs "I am a wife of sentry" and "I am an officer's wife" are the noble ideological sentiment and revolutionary optimism of servicemen's wives who are doing their best for their husbands defending the country devotedly.
The songs "A girl riding a swift horse", "Girls in our factory" and "A girl silk-weaver in Nyongbyon" sing of the fruitful working life of the women who are distinguishing themselves in the economic construction along with men. And the songs "Women are flowers" and "Song of wife" reflect the women's pride of creating the happiness of the families as dear wives and good mothers. The songs touch the heart-strings of the people.
Today the Korean women love to sing these songs created in the Songun era and are doing their bit in the efforts for building the great, prosperous and powerful socialist country.

and... ps... BEAKING NEWS:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!

Conferment of "International Kim Il Sung Prize" on Kim Jong Il Supported

Pyongyang, March 8 (KCNA) -- The news that the "International Kim Il Sung Prize" Council awarded the "International Kim Il Sung Prize" to Kim Jong Il on the occasion of his birthday has stirred up the hearts of the progressive humankind.

Tears & Tears

Before

After

Being in a mending mood (the feminine side of Zombies is no less real nor undead than the male...) one wants to efface the tears, those very first ever, primordial ones painted by Giotto on the faces of the mothers in his Massacre of the Innocents. The start of art, they say.

And then, in the mood, and following the lead of the late Aline Gagnaire, of OuPeinPo, giving Lucio Fontana's wife a break and stitching up his slashed canvas Concetto Spaziale, Attesa 1964.

















Before

















After

There's just too much, you know, emotion around.

Image of Bush Mysteriously Appears in Shirt! and... Longest Ever Communique from North Korea Extols Brief History.

As one does, I was idly taking photographs of real flowers in a vase in front of a painting including flowers in a vase (and much else, obviously) - and then distorting the resulting photographic images in Photoshop and other software in order to perform various topological operations when suddenly I noticed that an old, short-sleeved, orange tartan shirt that I use for cleaning the oil paint from brushes... had assumed the unmistakable features of the "president" of the USA. Quite why the war-criminal Bush should thus manifest himself I don't know, but who am I to question what is clearly a most un-Zombie concretisation of pure Will.

Crowds of the faithful need not rush here, nor collectors of such epi-phenomena as the face of Nicole K (peace be upon her) quite clearly etched into a slice of aubergine, for I have burned the shirt, which ignited with a satisfying WOOOOMPH due to its being rather soaked in turpentine.

Meanwhile.............

Enlarged Version of "Short Biography of Great Leader Comrade Kim Jong Il" Sees Light

Pyongyang, February 14 (KCNA) -- An enlarged version of "Short Biography of Great Leader Comrade Kim Jong Il" edited by the History Institute of the Central Committee of the Workers' Party of Korea was published by the Workers' Party of Korea Publishing House.
It has 8 chapters comprehensively dealing with the brief history of Kim Jong Il in chronological order.
The first chapter of the book deals with his revolutionary history in the period from Feb. Juche 31(1942) to Aug. Juche 49(1960). In that period he formed the "Group for the Study of the Short Biography of General Kim Il Sung" and started the study tour of the revolutionary battle sites in the area of Mt. Paektu.
Its second chapter deals with his revolutionary activities in the period from Aug. Juche 49 (1960) to Mar. Juche 53(1964)). In that period Kim Jong Il visited Guard Seoul Ryu Kyong Su Tank Division 105 of the Korean People's Army, starting his Songun revolutionary leadership. He entered Kim Il Sung University where he developed in depth the immortal Juche idea, Songun idea.
The third chapter of the book tells about how wisely he guided the party work and the drive to celebrate the sixtieth birthday of President Kim Il Sung as the greatest national holiday, etc. in the period from Apr. Juche 53(1964) to Feb. Juche 63(1974)).
Its fourth chapter deals with his revolutionary activities in the period from Feb. Juche 63(1974) to Sept. Juche 69(1980).
After being chosen as successor to Kim Il Sung and an outstanding leader of the WPK and people, he formulated the President's revolutionary idea as an integral whole of the idea, theory and method of Juche and declared it as the supreme programme of the WPK to model the whole society on the Juche idea.
The fifth chapter of the book tells about his revolutionary activities in the period from Oct. Juche 69(1980) to Dec. Juche 78(1989). This part of the book explains how he led the work to greet the sixth Congress of the WPK as a grand festival of victors and how he made sure that the Koreans and the world revolutionary people grandly celebrated the 70th birthday of the President.
It also tells that he authored many works and led the work to strengthen the KPA and the people's power and wage a dynamic movement to create "the speed in the 80s," thus bringing about a fresh surge in socialist economic construction.
The sixth chapter of the book is devoted to his revolutionary activities in the period from Jan. Juche 79 (1990) to Jul. Juche 83 (1994).
It tells that he held the important post of Supreme Commander of the KPA and was elected chairman of the DPRK National Defence Commission and wisely led the work to demonstrate the advantages and might of Korean-style socialism and revive the socialist movement.
The seventh chapter of the book dealing with his revolutionary activities in the period from Jul. Juche 83 (1994) to Dec. Juche 87 (1998) tells that after the demise of the President he put up such slogans representing his faith as "The great leader Comrade Kim Il Sung will always be with us" and "Let us arm ourselves more firmly with the revolutionary ideas of the great leader Comrade Kim Il Sung!" and led the work to build up the Kumsusan Memorial Palace as the supreme temple of Juche.
It also says that he was elected general secretary of the WPK and chairman of the NDC of the DPRK.
The eighth chapter of the book deals with his revolutionary activities in the period from Jan. Juche 88 (1999) to Oct. Juche 94 (2005). It tells that he, true to the noble intention of the President, unrolled the policy of effecting a turn in building a great prosperous powerful socialist nation, the policies of attaching importance to the ideology, the arms and science and technology and laid down other important guidelines for building a rich and powerful country.
It also deals with the facts that he arranged the historic Pyongyang meeting which culminated in the adoption of the June 15 North-South Joint Declaration, conducted energetic external activities, demonstrating the prestige and dignity of the DPRK worldwide and injecting fresh vigor into the efforts to accomplish the cause of global independence and wisely led the people to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the WPK and the 60th anniversary of the country's liberation as grand festivals of victors of the Songun revolution.

Today's Exciting Zombie Quiz

abc:abd :: xyz:?

Or in English: abc is to abd as xyz is to what?

(xya would be too easy, and also ugly...)

Exciting North Korean Art News!

Pyongyang, January 29 (KCNA) -- A brisk motivational campaign for inspiring the entire people to implementing the tasks set forth by the joint New Year editorial has been undertaken in the DPRK... Artistes of the South Hamgyong Provincial Art Propaganda Troupe went to various co-op farms, carrying with them a large amount of manure and farm implements, and encouraged peasants in their farming preparation with radio scripts and story-telling pieces...

But more, much more than this:

Complete Collection of Kim Il Sung's Woks (sic) Vol. 67 Off Press

Pyongyang, January 29 (KCNA) -- Complete Collection of Kim Il Sung's Woks Vol. 67 was brought out by the Workers' Party of Korea Publishing House. It is the library of the immortal Juche idea which carries his famous works systematically and comprehensively on a chronological order. Contained are 31 famous works such as historic speeches, concluding addresses and talks made by President Kim Il Sung from May to August, Juche 67 (1978).
"On Our Country's Experience in the Solution of the Rural Question", "The International Friendship Exhibition Is Precious Historic Wealth to Be Handed Down to Posterity", "On Greeting the 30th Anniversary of the Republic with High Degree of Political Enthusiasm and Brilliant Achievements in Labor" and other works indicate policies for effecting a new great upswing in all fields and units of the national economy and improving the standard of people's living and ways for their implementation and questions of principle in strengthening education in revolutionary tradition and education in socialist patriotism among the members of the WPK and other working people.
"The General Association of Korean Residents in Japan Should Conduct Well the External Work to Actively Contribute to the Cause of National Reunification" and other works elucidate strategic and tactical matters in accelerating the reunification of the country.

Zombie Art: Picasso Bookshelves

Project: take a photo of an artwork under glass. Note any reflections.
Proposition: These are as interesting as the artwork.
Example: A Picasso lithograph, signed. Bookshelves reflected. Use image processing to isolate.

"Kidman's publicist, Catherine Olim, said the star was trying to shake zombies off the bonnet of her Jaguar when the car spun off the road."

BBC

In between black and white, there is always red...

"Ok it's simple really... consciousness is an emergent property of life; life is an emergent property of matter; matter is an emergent property of existence; existence is an emergent property of distinction, and distinction 'was' totally fucking inevitable in the timeless no-thing."

"Is there an emergent property from consciousness?"

"Yes."

"Zombie?"

"Yes. Zombie and 'Pataphysics."

North Korean Army Art (Steadfastly Seethe) and Your Own Zombie Soldier Cut-Out Fold-Down Glue-Together Box!

First: the embossed box. Simply make it, and have it.

Second!!!: Kim Jong Il Inspects Command of KPA Combined Unit 593

Pyongyang, January 15 (KCNA) -- General Secretary Kim Jong Il inspected the Command of KPA Combined Unit 593. He first went round the room dedicated to the education in the revolutionary history and the room devoted to the history of the unit. He said that under the wise leadership and meticulous care of President Kim Il Sung the unit grew to be a powerful force having a-match-for-a hundred combined units and units. He highly appreciated the feats of the unit, saying that it has performed proud exploits in defending the country and building socialism by displaying matchless patriotic devotion and popular heroism for the Party, the leader, the country and the people. He went round the operation study room to acquaint himself with the unit's performance of duty. He set forth the tasks facing the unit, expressing satisfaction over the fact that it has not only steadily boosted the operation commanding ability by arranging well the operation study room and focusing efforts on military exercises but has performed its guard duty in a responsible manner with a high degree of revolutionary vigilance in view of the U.S. imperialists' moves for aggression. After making the rounds of the serviceperson's hall, library and other entertainment and educational facilities, he praised the unit for having conducted the political work in a unique and profound manner with various kinds of means necessary for educating servicepersons in place and trained all of them as ideologically strong fighters equipped with a transparent revolutionary outlook. He underscored the need for the servicepersons to make book-reading part of their daily routine and a habit with strong enthusiasm so that they may become soldiers of wide knowledge. Then he went round supply service facilities of the unit and highly praised its commanding officers for having provided good living conditions to its servicepersons from a correct point of view on the supply service.
After the inspection, he enjoyed a performance given by an art squad of the unit. He extended thanks to the performers, expressing satisfaction at the successful performance with high ideological and artistic value.
The People's Army has become a model in art activities, too, he said, underlining the need to steadily conduct the drive for learning from the revolutionary soldier spirit so as to make the whole society seethe with a high degree of revolutionary enthusiasm.

Your very own copy...

...to cut out and keep!
Yes this miniature cocktail umbrella can be yours so long as you enjoy access to a printer, paper and scissors. Glue the thingies together, purchase a Chinese newspaper, cut out a small strip, roll it up tight around a toothpick and soak in glue - flour and water will do. This becomes the ferrule of the umbrella. It is usual to incorporate at least one piece of photo or solid red part in the paper strip, to add value. Pierce the... oh this is too boring, just do it ok?

Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116

From Wikipedia:

Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (pronounced /?al?bin/) was a name intended for a Swedish child who was born in 1991.

The boy's parents had planned never to legally name him at all, as a protest to the naming law of Sweden, which reads: "First names shall not be approved if they can cause offense or can be supposed to cause discomfort for the one using it, or names which for some obvious reason are not suitable as a first name."

Because the parents (Elizabeth Hallin and an unidentified father) failed to register a name by the boy's fifth birthday, a district court in Halmstad, southern Sweden, fined the parents 5,000 kronor. Responding to the fine, the parents submitted the 43 character name in May 1996, claiming that it was "a pregnant, expressionistic development that we see as an artistic creation." The parents suggested the name be understood in the spirit of 'pataphysics. The court rejected the name and upheld the fine.

The parents then tried to change the spelling of the name to A (also pronounced /?al?bin/) instead. Once again, the court did not approve of the parents' ideas for naming.

"Zombie willpower is fundamentally a result of a broken brain."
(from a site dealing with Zombie science, neuro-biology etc.)














How little they know...

Impersonating Impersonators & Zombie Christmas

In Moscow, a crowd paid up to 45 $ a ticket to see Maxim Galkin, a famous impersonator and host of the Russian franchise of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire". They expected to see the impersonator impersonate, but instead gradually realised that the person they were seeing was in fact impersonating the impersonator. Police will interview him on suspicions of fraud when he leaves hospital.



Meanwhile, in the festive season in North Korea, no more brilliant event can be imagined than the showing of part 23 of the documentary "Under the Guidance of the Great Brilliant Commander".

KCNA:
... it was screened at the People's Palace of Culture Friday on the occasion of the 15th anniversary of Kim Jong Il's assumption of office as supreme commander of the Korean People's Army. The film was watched by senior party and state officials, Cabinet members, officials of working people's organizations, ministries and national institutions and working people in Pyongyang.
The film edits historic data showing that Kim Jong Il tirelessly provided energetic guidance to develop the People's Army into an army intensely loyal to the party and the leader and devoted to the country and the people.
It tells how wisely Kim Jong Il led the servicepersons to devotedly help people in terms of politico-ideology and manpower.
It deals with the struggle of servicepersons performing labor feats in key domains of the national economy. True to the high intention of the supreme commander, the servicepersons built power stations, factories and enterprises and other edifices of Songun era in different parts of the country and took the lead in aiding the agricultural front, key front of economic construction.
The film tells that as there is loving care shown by the great Songun brilliant commander there produced a number of moving stories that soldiers devote their own lives without hesitation to defend the lives and property of the people.

North Korean Headlines

Latest from the North Korean News Agency - you don't need the actual text, trust me...

---

Immediate Withdrawal of S. Korean Troops from Iraq Urged

---

Kim Jong Il Hailed as Great Strategist

---

New Tree Growing Stations Appear in DPRK

---

Many Poems and Songs See Light This Year

---

Anachronistic Confrontation Doctrine Blasted

---

New Feature Film Produced

Strict Observance of Socialist Law Called for

Wreath Laid before Bust of Kim Jong Suk

Foreign Diplomats Visit Three-Revolution Exhibition

---

Mushroom Widely Cultivated in DPRK

---

Many Model Rural Villages Built

---

School Uniform Associated with Noble Comradely Fidelity

---

S. Korean Delegation Arrives Here

---

Film Show Held for Economic and Commercial Councilors' Corps

Zombie Art in Paris Streets

As one does, I have taken it upon myself to record photographically, then digitally, every occurrence (viz.: 1) of paint spilt into the gutter in Parisian streets. This is not only a pathetic attempt slyly to gain admittance to and acceptance from one of the very best sites on the web, the estimable Museum of Dust - aware as I am of the gulf separating a paint-spill from accumulations of tribologically and otherwise generated detritus - but also because if there is any thing that Zombies appreciate (and of course, by definition, there isn't)...

Not only can you enjoy this image, but the Subcommittee for Interactions, Participations, Anticipations and the Etymology of the Word "Falluting" has near-unanimously declared that from now on a kit or necessaire will be made available where possible free on this site. Today's project : construct an octahedron by cutting out the shape and using the tabs. Your own Parisian caniveau or gutter. Good luck and, by anticipation, well done!
And today's headline : 'I was not drunk' insists bishop

More Zombie News from North Korea

Pyongyang, November 26 (KCNA) -- Rodong Sinmun today dedicates an article to the fourth anniversary of Kim Jong Il's famous work "Let's Pave Way for Fresh Victory with Same Revolutionary Faith, Will and Pluck as Great Leader (his dad) Had."

---------------

Otete Gaston Mboyo, national chairman of the Genuine Lumumbist Patriotic Party of Democratic Congo who is chairman of the Democratic Congo-Korea Friendship and Solidarity Association, made public on Nov. 20 a statement titled "Let us turn out in the activities for the implementation of the Mt. Paektu declaration on the occasion of the February holiday, the birthday of H.E. Kim Jong Il". The great idea of President Kim Il Sung who is always alive in the hearts of humankind thanks to his immortal feats performed for the cause of global independence is successfully carried forward by Kim Jong Il, the statement said...

---------------

Birthdays of Great Persons to Be Commemorated in Tanzania

Pyongyang, November 25 (KCNA) -- It is a due obligation for all the organizations for friendship and solidarity with the Korean people in the world to significantly commemorate the birthdays of the peerlessly great men as common holidays. Francis F. Lyimo, vice-chairman of the Tanzania-DPRK Friendship Association, said this in a statement issued on Nov. 16.
He expressed full support to the appeal of the Swiss organization for significantly commemorating the Day of the Sun and February 16 in 2007 as common holidays of progressive humankind.
President Kim Il Sung, the founder of the Juche idea, is the greatest man who performed immortal exploits for the Korean revolution and the cause of global independence, he noted, and continued:
Kim Jong Il is highly praised by the world progressives as the sun of the 21st century as he has successfully carried forward the cause of the President. The association will form a preparatory committee for commemorating the Day of the Sun and February 16 in 2007 to hold multifarious political and cultural events across the country and thus create an atmosphere of praising the great men.
It will also send a delegation of visitors to the old home of Kim Jong Il in the secret camp in Mt. Paektu in February 2007 and conduct dynamic solidarity activities for supporting the Korean people in their just cause.

---------------

Pyongyang, November 26 (KCNA)-- General Secretary Kim Jong Il appreciated a performance given by the State Symphony Orchestra. Also among the audience were First Vice Department Directors of the Central Committee of the WPK Ri Yong Chol, Ri Je Gang and Ri Jae Il and other leading officials of the C.C., WPK and Generals of the Korean People's Army Ri Myong Su, Hyon Chol Hae and Pak Jae Gyong and other commanding officers of the KPA.
Artistes of the orchestra put on the stage colorful numbers including "Glory to the General", the fourth movement of the symphony suite "Long Journey for the Songun Revolution", orchestras "Swinging Girl", "Arirang", "Collection of Famous Songs", "The Sound of a Horse's Hooves in Mt. Paektu", "Rich Harvest Comes to the Chongsan Plain", and a female soprano "Spinning Wheel Ballad".
They truthfully represented the strong spirit of the servicepersons and people dashing ahead like the wind to greet the dawn of a great prosperous powerful nation, holding aloft the great banner of Songun. They, at the same time, fully demonstrated the profound emotional power of the orchestras spiced with strong national flavor through the peculiar echo made by a mixed orchestra, thus clearly proving the validity and vitality of the WPK's policy of creating, arranging and representing music strictly in Korean style.

Learning the basics of Zombie Art

Each art activity is governed by one or more constraints. Constraint is liberty. And so on.
And if you have been, thanks for looking.

New European Rules for Liquids, Gels, Body Fluids etc. at Airports

Sac colostomie Air France

According to new legislation coming into effect on Monday the 6th of November, not only must water, alcohol, toothpaste, explosives, poisons and bio-hazard material be kept in containers each of which contains 100 ml or less, and presented in a 1 litre-or-less capacity transparent plastic bag... But also: bodily fluids, including but not limited to blood, bile, urine, faeces, cerebral-spinal fluid, the content of eyeballs (left and right), testicles (ditto, if applicable), gel-filled breast implants, and so on, and so on, must also be presented in this manner (with certain exceptions, see below).

Consequently, blood will be voided and disposed of to nearby medical facilities apart from 100 ml which may if so desired be placed into the passenger's own 100 ml container for transport. The blood is NOT to be reintroduced into the passenger before the plane has come to a complete halt and the seat-belt sign has been switched off at destination.
Certain airlines may provide free colostomy bags and other items for passengers's personal use. These, once used, are NOT transferable.

The contents of potential security-compromisable containers such as eye-sockets etc. must be worn in proximity to the organs from which they were obtained.

Those wishing actually to hijack an aircraft are still invited to obtain business class seats (first class, on certain airlines on long-haul flights) and to ask for wine (sparkling or still) which will continue to be served in glass bottles, which may be smashed on arm-rests, against doors etc., and used as cutting weapons.