Zombie 'Pataphysics

Zombie Pataphysics: a reminder

2012-01-13T21:29:00.003+01:00

Pataphysics is the ʻscienceʼ of imaginary solutions, being to metaphysics what metaphysics is to physics. The quotidien ʻphysicalʼ thinker says ʻI have a computer that writes storiesʼ. The meta-physician says ʻPerhaps I have a computer, and perhaps it writes storiesʼ. The Pataphysician says: ʻI donʼt have a computer, and it writes storiesʼ.

Zombie, in philosophy rather than Hollywood, involves the idea of a being exactly like us, with no test to distinguish between it and us, but who is, nonetheless, a zombie, without ʻqualiaʼ. Without necessarily referring to artificial intelligence, we may assert, and indeed prove in interactive experiments with the brave, that a ʻmindlessʼ, zombie approach can be very fruitful in permitting the impossible to be thought and created. The zombie is a transgression, breaking categories, being both alive AND dead, or we might say both ʻyesʼ and ʻnoʼ, both ʻtrueʼ and ʻfalseʼ. Parallels to quantum physics are obvious. The Zombie can be here AND there. It escapes categorization. If you measure its art, its science escapes you. It represents the uncollapsed wave-form, where all is possible until it isnʼt.

Zombie Studio

2011-12-08T18:38:00.002+01:00

A chaotic mirror to the Zombie 'mind'.

One of a sequence of 'Bad Panoramas' - photo (c) BRSmith

Magritte

2011-12-02T11:19:00.001+01:00

Zombies do their bit for smiles

2011-09-21T17:34:00.005+02:00

OK, so this video is a bit naffly made, but still.....
And if it makes you smile, cry, or smile and cry, then here's where you can pay for a kid to get the operation. In some countries, this will literally save his or her life. They accept any amount. Go on, don't just think that you will, feel better about yourself, then forget it…
Thanks.

Zombie Statistics

2011-09-05T18:20:00.004+02:00

Government figures show that approximately 2 million British visitors come to Germany each year. Of these, approximately 500 die whilst in Germany. This means there is a 1 in 4000 chance of a British visitor dying in Germany.

Easyjet has 2 daily flights per day to Berlin from Luton Airport, 3 from Gatwick and 1 each from Bristol, Glasgow, Liverpool, Manchester. Assuming that each flight carries about 120 people (a very conservative estimate) and that half of these are British, that means 9 x 60 = 540 Brits come to Berlin each day. Or about 200 000 per year.

So 50 Easyjet passengers per year who come to Berlin from Britain will die in Germany. That’s one passenger per week. This would be terrifying were one not a Zombie.

You're innocent when you dream

2011-04-23T22:55:00.001+02:00

(apologies to Tom Waits)

My Zombie Ancestors

2011-04-01T16:07:00.003+02:00

A visual history of the ancestors I might have wanted.

What is 'Pataphysics (again)?

2011-02-04T14:52:00.018+01:00

Since I'm introducing a series of conferences on 'Pataphysics, I thought…

For Walter Benjamin, history contains within itself a critique of 'progress', against the idea of continuity. This leads to history as a series of 'interferences' that we must construct or actualise in the present. But the idea of discontinuity, of interruption (we might say inter-rupture) is necessary only if we see through 'normal' eyes. The rainbow ends, not magically with a pot of gold, but sideways, across the bandwidth, beyond red and violet. It appears to have bounds, and in our perception, it does.

But with other eyes, those of the 'Pataphysician, we can decide to see the magenta of the spectrum, to fold (or unfold, in the this case topologically equivalent) the rainbow, then to join the red and blue 'edges' to obtain magenta, which is otherwise not to be found - see this.

The only continuity is catastrophe, and catastrophe theory shows that that the only way out of THAT is to become pluri-dimensional, like the ant on a sheet of paper that has a fold, allowing - perhaps forcing - the ant to make a dimensional 'jump', seen from its 2-dimensional point of view as a sudden, catastrophic relocation - let us say 'dislocation' - in 2-d space.

'Pataphysics PLAYS with paper-folding, with ants, with jumping and with Walter Benjamin.

And since these conferences are in an art context: what is the job of the artist? To heal the dislocations, which is reform? Or to celebrate and underline the discontinuum, which is revolutionary? Of course, both.
And 'Pataphysics is the discipline which transcends, and treats as 'normal', these apparent contradictions. Between black and white, there is always… red.
Between, beyond, and above 'true' and 'false', on a meta-level, there is 'Pataphysics.

And I thought: this is what I'll say, and do: Au-delà de la réalité et de la métaphore existe la 'Pataphore, là où les images imaginaires deviennent, elles, encore, réelles.

Il pleut.
Métaphore: il pleut des cordes.
'Pataphore: il pleut des cordes - pour vrai!
(Throw real strings into the audience? or cats and dogs? or say 'strings', but throw cats and dogs because en anglais, en dit 'il pleut des chats et des chiens…') ----> string theory, Schrödinger's cat usw.

Or just point outside, to a tree in the courtyard, and scream "That tree is fake! It's made of wood!"

And if you have been, thanks for looking.(Attention mapping from www.attentionwizard.com)

We all have Zombie singers inside us

2010-11-28T16:32:00.006+01:00

The Path of the Pony

2010-10-30T15:35:00.008+02:00

Based on a found photo from the estimable online magazine of diagrams and literature The Diagram - (my mindless Zombie alterations).

Zombie-'Pataphysical 3D, obviously

2010-09-19T23:57:00.001+02:00

Muybridge, Pynchon and Zombie 'Pataphysics

2010-09-07T15:38:00.004+02:00

Edweard Muybridge opened up (and simultaneously fragmented) movement. The noun becomes verb. Thomas Pynchon, in Gravity's Rainbow, differentiated the V2 rocket's parabola into steps - the obscenity of film pretending to be reality at 24 frames per second, or of diferentiation with respect to time: necessary to 'see' it, but blinding us at the same time. Radical re-integration might work, of course.

In the sequence noun ----> verb ----> what comes next?
And in the sequence static object ----> speed ----> acceleration?
And by some sort of (at the moment rather weak) metaphor, in the sequence
art ----> data ----> metadata?

Zombie-'Pataphysical Intervention

2010-07-29T15:54:00.001+02:00

ITF 2010 | B. R. Smith | Zombie pataphysics and digital imaging from NIFFF on Vimeo.

Neuchâtel - Imaging the Future

2010-07-10T14:54:00.015+02:00

The Zombie-'Pataphysical hotel, overlooking Lake Neuchâtel, the largest lake lying entirely in Switzerland.

All my Swiss stereotypes have been rectified by a few days in the excellent town of Neuchâtel, in francophone Switzerland, the first time Zombie-'Pataphysics was there. I gave a talk/performance on that topic, and showed a short Zombie-'Pataphysical movie of which there is an excerpt below.
I wanted to show that with thoughtless, cheap (indeed free) ad hoc and lo-tech means, one can still make art that is, I hope, quite new.

There was the obligatory Zombification of the audience, and initial fears of people being too cool or too 'Swiss' to put on the Zombie bandages were quickly dispelled. The Swiss, at least the ones I met in the street as well as at the Neuchâtel International Fantasy Film Festival and its colloquium 'Imaging the Future', were some of the most cultured, open and delightful people I've encountered.

In this treated clip from 'Casablanca', details in the movie have been approximated to by ellipses, using medical imaging software designed to show particles. The sound was stripped away, each frame of the film was 'thresholded', that is forced to be just black and white (no greys) then the particle analysis software was applied, the ellipses found by approximating major and minor axes on each 'particle', and the frames combined back into a movie. Finally the sound was restored.

Quote of the Day (click me for trumpets)

2010-06-21T15:37:00.008+02:00

"The pataphysical spirit is the nail in the tire."
Jean Baudrillard: Pataphysics.

Zombie-'Pataphysical Steam Punk Concert

2010-06-14T14:42:00.002+02:00

'6 notes played for 1 hour',
with J-L. André, J-M. Ponty & B. R. Smith
La Soupe Aux Choux, Bourges, France, 1 June 2010

Zombie 'Pataphysical animation

2010-05-12T09:55:00.008+02:00

Having been invited to speak at a Swiss conference on fantasy film and VFX etc., I thought I'd better actually make an extremely short animation. Using Zombie-'Pataphysically hijacked mechanisms, naturally.

€€€ short interjection :
THOSE FUCKING SCUMMY OPPORTUNISTIC LIBERAL SCUM IN BRITAIN ALLYING THEMSELVES WITH THE APPALLING CONSERVATIVES FOR THE ILLUSION OF POWER MAKE ME SICK .
€€€

So - of what seminally famous music festival is this clip an abstraction, where all elements including the circling helicopter have been replaced by ellipses?

a clue:

…and if you have been, thanks for looking.

Zombit - beyond the qubit.

2010-04-19T14:41:00.012+02:00

'What is shared, is sharing.'

Zombie consciousness: a paradox? Well, in the most fundamental sense, yes and no.

A bit is the tiniest unit of information, standing for 'binary digit' and representing a distinction between two possibilities, such as yes or no, 0 or 1, true or false, which at this level tend to mean the same thing (I mean 'yes', 'true' and 1, for example).

The word 'bit' also refers to the physical system in which this information is represented, such as the magnetic particles on a hard drive whose north pole can point up or down, or the presence or absence of a tiny pit on a DVD.

Any system having two distinct states can act as a binary system, for example an elementary particle. However, at this scale quantum effects occur and we get the (demonstrable) effect in a quantum bit, or qubit, of bits being 1 and 0 simultaneously. If that looks too mathematically easy, realise also that it also means 'true and false' simultaneously. We know that it is merely technological constraints that presently stop us from building working, useful, quantum computers; but they will come.

What I want to do here, though, is to leapfrog over even that, to the Zombie bit, or zombit.

First, a few words about consciousness. Are we humans really conscious (despite the 'inner Zombie' that primes us to act before we know we want to)? Let's say 'yes, at least I am', for the purposes of this discussion.

Are computers / robots conscious? Let us say 'no'.

But… would you torture a robot? One who would only give up information if you burnt it, hit it, pretended to drown it, and so on? One that entirely realistically screamed and begged for mercy if you did so? I think — I suppose I hope — that we would not act in that way towards such a machine even though we know it has no consciousness and cannot really feel pain, fear and so on: it's just a program making it appear so!

We know it is not conscious. But we ascribe consciousness to it. If at this point you say 'no, we don't, we just don't want to act like that, to seem nasty to others…', then I'd ask why don't we want to act like that? It is hard to think of an argument (apart, perhaps, from neurotic superstition) that does not involve someone, at least, ascribing some sort of consciousness to the machine.

May I suggest that we have no evidence whatever that anyone else is more conscious than that computer or robot, and that this isn't solipsism but, actually, common sense rather than wishful thinking? All I know, or believe, is: I am conscious. You, I don't know about; and guessing or suspecting isn't knowing.
However I CHOOSE TO SHARE MY CONSCIOUSNESS WITH YOU, and hope that you will (whether or not you are 'really' conscious) reciprocate.

So with the machine. Most of us would probably choose to 'share' our 'consciousness' with the machine.

Above, I have been pretending to be a more or less normal human being. But you know that I am not, I am a Zombie. Of course Zombies are indistinguishable from real humans (we're not talking Hollywood here but rather about the p-Zombie, see previous postings) and can argue as I have above. But to be honest, I have no 'real' consciousness, not really. I am in your hands. I am a Zombie. Will you torture me, harm me? As I say, I am in your hands. So are all non conscious entities in our domain of influence or action, from computers to flies, to ones we are not sure about such as cows. Will you torture them, harm them… eat them? Do you? I do. What's your excuse? Whether, and under what circumstances, you choose to share your consciousness with me is surely a social-psychological question. I, the Zombie, am here to help you raise your own consciousness, in sharing it with me. Some choose to share theirs only with a non-existent construct called 'god'. What a selfish waste!
But this text will now return to matters of zombie information theory and the zombit.

A normal bit is 0 or 1. A qubit can be 0 and 1. A zombit? A zombit can only be assigned a state, or undergo a state change, as a result of sharing. Sharing what? Sharing from an entity whose 'conscious state' allows it to share. Yes but sharing what? And what do I mean here by 'conscious state'? A conscious state, in this case, is another Zombit, conscious because of shared consciousness from another zombit. And what is shared is precisely this consciousness. This can be simplified to: 'What is shared, is sharing'. (Circular? Of course it is!) We need some sort of notation for this, but it won't be one of normal distinction.

And if you have been, thanks for looking.

Zombie Pope

2010-04-14T09:13:00.007+02:00

1. "It's the media", "Petty gossip", "War between church and world"
2. "It's the Jews"
and now… 3. "It's homosexuals"
(Stop press: 4. "It's all because of TV")

The disgusting Ratzinger gives even Zombies a bad name. Support the issue of an arrest warrant when he visits the UK.

Pope shouldn't decide criminality
By Christopher Hitchens, For The Calgary HeraldApril 13, 2010 10:00 PM
According to New York Times columnist Ross Douthat -- a devout Catholic -- Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger spoke the following words in 2002, to an audience in Spain: "I am personally convinced that the constant presence in the press of the sins of Catholic priests, especially in the United States, is a planned campaign . . . to discredit the church."
On April 9, The New York Times -- the apparent center of this "planned campaign" -- reprinted a copy of a letter personally signed by Ratzinger in 1985. The letter urged lenience in the case of the Rev. Stephen Kiesle, who had tied up and sexually tormented two small boys on church property in California. Kiesle's superiors had written to Ratzinger's office in Rome, beseeching him to remove the criminal from the priesthood. The man who is now his holiness the pope was full of urgent moral advice in response. "The good of the Universal Church," he wrote, should be a consideration. It should be understood that "particularly regarding the young age" of Kiesle, there might be great "detriment" caused "within the community of Christ's faithful" if he were to be removed. The good father was then aged 38. His victims -- not that their tender ages of 11 and 13 seem to have mattered -- were children. In the ensuing decades, Kiesle went on to ruin the lives of several more children and was finally jailed by the secular authorities on a felony molestation charge in 2004. All this might have been avoided if he had been handed over to justice right away and if the Oakland diocese had called the police rather than written to the office in Rome that muffled and suppressed such distressing questions.
Contrast this to the even more appalling case of the school for deaf children in Wisconsin where the Rev. Lawrence Murphy was allowed unhindered access to more than 200 unusually defenceless victims. Again the same pattern: repeated petitions from the local diocese to have the criminal unfrocked (an odd term when you think about it) met with stony indifference from Ratzinger's tightly run bureaucracy. Finally a begging letter to Ratzinger from Murphy himself, complaining of the frailty of his health and begging to be buried with full priestly honours, in his frock. Which he was.
So in one case a child rapist escaped judgment and became an enabled reoffender because he was too young. In the next, a child rapist was sheltered after a career of sex torture of disabled children because he was too old! Such compassion.
It must be noted, also, that all the letters from diocese to Ratzinger, and from Ratzinger to diocese, seemed to be concerned with whether this would hurt the Holy Mother Church. It was as if the children were irrelevant or inconvenient (as with the case of the boys in Ireland forced to sign confidentiality agreements by the man who is still the country's cardinal). Note, next, that there was a written, enforced and consistent policy of avoiding contact with the law. And note, finally, that there was a preconceived program of blaming the press if any of the criminal conduct or obstruction of justice ever became known.
The obscene culmination of this occurred on Good Friday, when the pope sat through a sermon delivered by an underling in which the exposure of his church's crimes was likened to persecution and even -- this was a gorgeous detail -- to the pogroms against the Jews. I have never before been accused of taking part in a pogrom or lynching, let alone joining a mob that is led by deaf, victimized children, but I'm proud to take part in this one.
The keyword is Law. Ever since the church gave refuge to Cardinal Bernard Law of Boston to spare him the inconvenience of answering questions under oath, it has invited the metastasis of this horror. And now the tumour has turned up just where you might have expected -- moving from the bosom to the very head of the church. And by what power or right is the fugitive cardinal shielded? Only by the original agreement between Benito Mussolini and the papacy that created the pseudo-state of Vatican City in the Lateran Treaty of 1929. This would be bad enough, except that it's now possible that Ratzinger himself may be held personally, as well as institutionally, responsible for obstructing justice and protecting and enabling pederasts.
One should not blame only the church here. Where was American law enforcement during the decades when children were prey? Where was international law while the Vatican became a place of asylum and a source of protection for those who licensed or carried out the predation? Page through any of the reports of child-rape and torture from Ireland, Australia, the United States, Germany -- and be aware that there is much worse to come. Where is it written that the Roman Catholic Church is the judge in its own case? Above or beyond the law? Able to use private courts? Allowed to use funds donated by the faithful to make payments to the victims or their families?
There are two choices. We can swallow the shame, roll up the First Amendment and just admit that certain heinous crimes against innocent citizens are private business or are not crimes if they are committed by priests and excused by popes. Or perhaps we can shake off the awful complicity inherent in reporting this ongoing crime as a "problem" for the church and not as an outrage to the victims and to the judicial system. Isn't there one district attorney or state attorney general in the U.S. who can decide to represent the children? Nobody in Eric Holder's vaunted department of no-immunity justice? If not, then other citizens will have to approach the bench. In London, as already reported by The Sunday Times and the Press Association, some experienced human-rights lawyers, at my and scientist Richard Dawkins' behest, will be challenging Ratzinger's right to land in Britain with immunity in September. If he gets away with it, then he gets away with it, and the faithful can be proud of their supreme leader. But this we can promise, now that his own signature has been found on a letter that facilitated Kiesle's further crimes: There will be only one subject of conversation until Ratzinger calls off his visit, and only one subject if he decides to try to go through with it. In either event, he will be remembered for only one thing long after he is dead.
© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald

Zombie CCTV Game

2010-03-14T17:49:00.002+01:00

The object is to take control of a number of surveillance cameras and direct them to the most boring scene imaginable. Extra points for black roads at night!

43 Dodgy Statements on Computer Art

2010-03-12T14:18:00.003+01:00

1. The sadness of most art is that it does not know its future. The sadness of computer art is that it does not know its past.

2. Constraint is liberty; reduce to the maximum.

3. If it looks just like, you know, ‘art’…it probably isn't.

4. Using state-of-the-art technology merely produces state-of-the-technology art.

5. Those who use computers to make art need to understand art as well as computers.

6. Most participative art is deeply authoritarian.

7. The computer is best characterised not as an information processor but as a general-purpose representation processor.

8. Marshall McLuhan, at least as filtered through his sound-bites, was often wrong. The medium is not the message, which is more often determined socially and psychologically by the recipient.

9. If your system costs 10 000 € and mine 30 000 €, it does not follow that my art is thrice as good as yours.

10. In an ideal world, New Media institutions would employ at least one non-technological artist.

11. Are you pushing the frontiers of computational representation, or of contemporary art? Confusion rarely leads to success.

12. 99% of computer art is meretricious nonsense. But then 99% of everything is meretricious nonsense.

13. Self-imposed formal requirements are not inhibitive of expression.

14. Post Modernism has never said that everything is of equal value, just that the contexts in which we identify or attribute value should be open to analysis.

15. You know your amazing new computer art, rich in metaphors and analogies? It's been done. Years ago. Without a computer.

16. We lose dimensions and scale. The computer in art is immediate and almost always, however "global", local. Just as no well-found art school would be complete without computers, so every such institution should have a telescope and a microscope, connected to the computer or not.

17. Making computer art too dangerous to sponsor would be a good way to go.

18. Just as everyone has a novel inside them, many believe they have an artwork. The purpose of a good art school is to seek out these people and stop them.

19. Using a computer merely to access the web is like using a Bugatti Veyron to deliver the papers.

20. Many people think that graphic design is art. Art is undertaken for art-like reasons, graphic design for graphic design-like reasons. There may of course be overlap. There should never be confusion.

21. Making the (arts) information revolution consists not only in enabling the control of the means of computer art production by art workers, but also in being kind, non-gouging and relatively honest. Without the latter, one may doubt commitment to the former.

22. The best interactive art always makes you look at the participants.

23. There is only one thing worse than studying art for the budding computer artist, and that is to study computers. Or vice versa.

24. Art is not craft.

25. What would be pretentious or nonsensical if one said it oneself does not become more worthy when spoken by a computer-generated avatar.

26. Seen in the light of Guy Debord's "The Society of the Spectacle", computer art is very spectacular indeed.

27. Beware of computer art as farce repeating itself as history.

28. There is no "normal" computer art, in the Kuhnian sense. It is in constant revolution, hence constantly evading scrutiny.

29. When the first solitary Metro station was built in Paris, where could people travel to? They just admired the station.

30. Bugs are good; as with fireflies, the fertile ones shed light.

31. The Prix Pierre Gutzman, 100 000 Francs, was offered by the Institut de France in 1906 to the first person who could establish contact with extra-terrestrials; except with Martians, which would be too easy.

32. ‘All that is solid melts into air’ is not a celebration of virtuality, but Marx 'n' Engels' prediction for late capitalism.

33. A half developed Polaroid photo is different to half a digital photo. A half-finished pen-plotter drawing is different to a half-finished inkjet print.

34. When art processes happen near-instantaneously, doing art becomes synonymous with correction and selection, later with celebration; rarely with creativity.

35. Art is visual philosophy. But computer art is not visual computer philosophy.

36. Revolutionary modes of interaction between humans and normative structures do not a revolution make.

37. 'i', the imaginary square root of minus 1, is to the real numbers as the computer is — or should be — to art.

38. The purpose of the computer in art is to render it difficult and problematic, not easy.

39. We do not admire Picasso's Guernica or Goya's The Third of May 1808 solely because of the techniques used, yet we are often invited to admire computer art for just that reason. Art that is deliberately content-free is one thing. Art that is accidentally, lumpenly content-free is another.

40. Computer artist: the unemployable producing the unsaleable for the uninterested.

41. Of course computers and other devices will never fully understand flowing, allusive conversation. But they won't care.

42. Many of the ‘objects’ of computer art are instances, illustrations, of some less tangible, invisible process. But it may be that the waveform should remain uncollapsed, the artwork staying undecideable, problematic, unobjectified. Lucy R. Lippard described the ‘dematerialization of the art object’ nearly 40 years ago.

43. Never throw away any computer or peripheral equipment that is more than 15 years old. You may well come to need it.

Peripheral visions: Zombie-'Pataphysical Prehistory, the Extraordinary Ordinary

2010-02-28T11:04:00.012+01:00

Image: Jean Collins

A recent article in New Scientist discusses the 'ephemeral' marks and symbols in cave paintings. They are now being considered as very early manifestations of prehistorical abstract thought. Some 26 symbols have been found, many of them occurring in different parts of the world, in Europe, North America, Africa, Asia and Australasia.
What were previously seen as insignificant might be even more important than the stunning images they accompany.
The current interest in these symbolic utterances parallels the attention given by 'Pataphysics to the outlying, the marginal, the exceptional, the singularity, the 'unimportant'.
This is by no means relativism (of which Post-Modernism is so often wrongly accused). 'Pataphysics is the very science of such peripheral phenomena.
If a 'Pataphysician bought an IKEA chair, it would be the instructions and the left-over bits that seem to fit nowhere upon which he or she would try sitting, with success. Chopin's music might be robbed of all its notes save the accidentals.
Literary analysis of texts by computer programs more often used to detect the central points of interest in legal or government documents tends in novels to highlight the banal, the everyday that the reader scarcely registers. The main themes of a novel might be identified as 'walking' and 'sitting'. And why not? This is presently seen as a failure, but in fact it is a wild success. 'The Road': a novel of walking; 'On the Road': a novel of walking and train journeys; 'The Importance of being Earnest', a play about furniture…
The program will miss multiple layers of meaning. So what? The reader constructs her own, now enhanced or even replaced by new universes of the 'ordinary', which really is quite extraordinary.

This image shows a word-cloud of the International Declaration of Human Rights, which centralised and magnified the central concepts, turned inside out.

The p-Zombie and 'p-Zombie: the Scandal of an Incomplete Survey.

2010-02-22T16:49:00.013+01:00

The philosophical or p-Zombie is a thought experiment designed to show that there is a soul, spirit or something which is not material, not just a 'product' of the brain. This is clearly daft.

The 'p-Zombie, or 'Pataphysical Zombie, is an instance of 'Pataphysics devised to show nothing of the sort.

Last year, a huge survey was carried out among 3226 philosophers to determine their attitudes to a number of philosophical questions, amongst which was the question of the p-Zombie.

http://philpapers.org/surveys/results.pl?affil=All+respondents&areas0=0&areas_max=1&grain=medium

It is interesting, if not appalling, to note that of the possible boxes to tick, the most important (to 'Pataphysicists) response was absent. One might ask why this was.

Here is the relevant section, with responses as absolute numbers and percentages.

(whether philosophical zombies are conceivable and/or metaphysically possible):

• Accept or lean toward: conceivable but not metaphysically possible 1139 / 3226 (35.3%)
• Accept or lean toward: metaphysically possible 777 / 3226 (24%)
• Accept or lean toward: inconceivable 607 / 3226 (18.8%)
• Insufficiently familiar with the issue 234 / 3226 (7.2%)
• Agnostic/undecided 156 / 3226 (4.8%)
• The question is too unclear to answer 87 / 3226 (2.6%)
• Skip 64 / 3226 (1.9%)
• There is no fact of the matter 58 / 3226 (1.7%)
• Reject all 37 / 3226 (1.1%)
• Other 27 / 3226 (0.8%)
• Accept another alternative 19 / 3226 (0.5%)
• Reject one, undecided between others 11 / 3226 (0.3%)
• Accept an intermediate view 6 / 3226 (0.1%)
• Accept more than one 4 / 3226 (0.1%)

The absent response — and the 'Pataphysically correct one — was of course 'metaphysically possible but not conceivable'.
(This is printed in magenta because the 'colour' magenta doesn't exist either - there is no magenta in the spectrum of visible light. It needs the superimposition of two separate wavelengths of light: red and blue…)

{The magenta in the colour bars in the previous posting comes from a printable colour space, not the spectrum of light. If you don't believe me, have a look at a prism. No magenta.}

On art, the universe and a weapon of cat destruction

2010-02-11T11:36:00.007+01:00

I would follow George Spencer-Brown in seeing the universe as having — wonder of wonders! — split (whether we believe by supernatural intervention or quantum fluctuation doesn’t matter here) into two parts: one of which could, for the first time ever, observe the rest of itself. Yet in doing so, the universe necessarily became blind to part of itself. It was all OK before, just trundling along being a universe; but it couldn’t see. Didn’t need to, you see. Then it could see, a distinction was drawn, but it became tragically estranged from itself. This or something like it is nearly universal in myths of cosmic creation and so on.

What to do? We need, after this action, and don’t forget the common etymology of ‘act’ and ‘agony’, a Truth and Reconciliation Commission. If science is the truth (‘this thing happened’) then art is perhaps the means of reconciliation (‘we can’t really mend it, but this is what it might be like if we could’) — and that’s perhaps why really good art can make you cry.

Science is perhaps socially constructed; art certainly is. Imagine Schrödinger’s Cat in its box not only with a randomly triggered weapon of cat destruction but also with some paints. We don’t know if it’s doing art until we open the box and even then the waveform collapses not into a fact but into questions: has the cat got a gallery? Do the critics notice it? Is it in Art Monthly, Art Presse or Kunstforum? If so, it’s art.
The computer is its own box, cat, paints, experimenter and decaying isotope. It should also contain and examine its own modes of discourse and critique. Use that to make art and we necessarily bring new dimensions into play, we render art and computing ‘difficult’ in a positive sense. The social construction of art itself has thus opened up, allowing us to manipulate it.

We need to open everything up, to make space and time and a new dimension in the work. The best interactive art always makes you look at the participants.

Let’s make a revolution! Let’s turn round slowly, just once, and see everything, everything that was done, and then finish back here again, but everything has changed. Let’s look properly at what has already been done, analyse it and reincorporate all the best bits, but going much further, with a new energy, the energy of the square root of minus one, of crazy ’Pataphysics.

Exciting Zombie Christmas Competition!

2009-12-19T13:32:00.007+01:00

Of what books are these intriguingly stupid reviews?

Question 1.

"I absolutely LOVE this book! I've always enjoyed napkin folding, and it's a treat when I visit a hotel that takes time to fold a simple point on their toilet paper rolls. When I saw this book, I was blown away by the gorgeous designs. Even better, they are not difficult to master!"

"I wanted to add yet another extra little touch to the Bed and Breakfast experience for my guest at the Sleigh Maker Inn in Westborough, MA, so I purchased this book. I can now leave the TP in the guests bathrooms looking pretty. Most of the folds in the book are fairly simple"

"A neighbor shared this book with me. I made several of the easy patterns and fell in love with it. We gave it as a Christmas present to several friends and relatives and they were delighted with it. The directions are easy to follow. This would be a great project book for kids for cheap mother's day presents. I loved it!"

"I purchased this book so I could so learn to make special little TP folds for our upcoming B&B. There are some very pretty flowers to make (way too time consuming) and fortunately there are quite a few folds you can make in little time."

"I am in the accommodation industry and found a couple of folds that are quick, easy and look good. I can do the folds quickly and it is something different for guests. Some of the other folds are quite elaborate and would be nice when you have more time. I am satisfied with the couple I am now using all the time."

Question 2.

"Was Karl Marx an active Satanist?…The young Karl Marx was a believing Christian, as his earliest writings demonstrate, but at an early stage his love for Christ, for some unknown reason, turned into hate, and his thinking is radically changed. In his youth Marx wrote poetry, and in his poems he starts revealing horrific thoughts. Filled with venom, they tell us about self-idolizing and dreams of destruction and usurpation of God. …He knows that he will fail: "I know it full well, my soul - once true to God - is chosen for hell". In one poem he confesses that he has bought a sword from the prince of darkness. This is significant, as the introduction rite to the Satanist order involves buying a sword from Satan, paying with one's soul. Other poems, too, contain allusions to Satanic rites, for instance one named Oulanem (a distortion of Immanuel). Marx' housekeeper told that her master was a pious man. He used to kneel on his bedroom and pray with black candles burning. Karl Marx' correspondence with his family members contain some strange details. He calls his son "dear devil" and is himself titled "highpriest" - an office that does not exist in any other religion than Satanism (except ancient Judaism, a religion that he rejected emphatically). His doughter has also told that he used to tell scaring fairy tales to his children, about people who sold their souls to the devil. Marx' appearance is also worth considering. Though having a beard was not uncommon in his age, it was by no means common to let it grow shaggy as he did. In the Satanist order of Joanna Woolcott, however, this was the praxis. Wurmbrand offers more arguments and their cumulative effect is, in my opinion, convincing. This side of Karl Marx has of course been suppressed, not least beacause those who are interested in him usually do not want to believe it. It is interesting to notice that when the Communist party of India decided to make a rebuttal of the book, all they came up to was a plead to judge Marxism on its own value and not to care about the religious views of its architect."

"This really should be required reading here in America with our new administration! Scary?, yes! Necessary information?, Definitely!!! We have an admitted Marxist turned communist in the White House advising our president(B.O.)! Does anyone care?"

"The biggest issue that liberals (who are basically "softcore Marxists" that use subtle propaganda rather than open revolutionary violence) have with the world is the influence that traditional religion, in particular, Christianity, wields…it makes sense that a Satanic cult would use classical Marxism as a front to achieve its ends in destroying the worship of Christ. Communism, as articulated in Marx and Engles' _Communist Manifesto_, states that human society is the product of competition between various classes of economic status. Marx's demands for radical social revolution have been institutionalized in the government, academia, and even in many churches today, furthering the humanist New World Order based on the Luciferian principle of autonomy and rebellion against the Divine Order."

Zombie 'Pataphysical quote of the month

2009-11-18T11:40:00.003+01:00

"Adelie penguins trade sex for stones" (New Scientist, 7 November 2009)

Excellent quote of the day

2009-11-06T21:03:00.003+01:00

Faith (n): A specific form of dishonesty where one pretends that the inability to distinguish hoping from believing is somehow a virtue.
Found on the Richard Dawkins website but it wasn't him, I think…

What is 'Pataphysics?

2009-11-03T17:09:00.013+01:00

The British literary journal the TLS, or Times Literary Supplement, has recently been asking this question, in a debate to which I have contributed. (The TLS and New Scientist would be the two journals that no-one with any claim to culture, and enough money to buy or subscribe, could possibly be without.)

Since 'Pataphysics is both easy and impossible to define, that being the nature of the subject, I came up with a description which, I think, is both excellent and true.

It is that 'Pataphysics is to physics (and hence the "real") as the imaginary number i, the square root of -1, is to the "real numbers" (the scale along which one finds 1,2,3… in one direction and -1, -2, -3 in the other).

The graph above shows what I mean. It will be seen that if one follows the "negative" "real" axis to the left, one reaches the "unreal" - this is not the same as the imaginary or 'Pataphysical of course. The unreal relates directly to the real; Derrida would, I think, have said that the unreal necessarily comes along with the real and vice-versa, in a text or in art and probably anywhere. A question remains - what is the "negative" aspect of the 'Pataphysical axis? Well, of course it's still 'Pataphysical! That's another definition of 'Pataphysics, for free.

i, or the 'Pataphysical, is an imaginary component that can be combined with the "real" to give a complex (with both real and imaginary dimensions) that can enable operations or experiments, concepts etc., which would be impossible without it.

An ashtray is an ashtray, but a 'Pataphysical ashtray needs another dimension, other than the "real", to make sense of it. It thus calls the ashtray into question.

Of course, our perception of this space is rather different from the logical or mathematical representation, and might best be depicted by an image such as the following - or indeed any other…
The burnt edges signify that this is just a fragment of a larger whole.

Disgusting Governmental Protection of Plane Bomber and Appeasement of Terrorists

2009-08-24T15:56:00.007+02:00

A so-called civilised, democratically elected government finds it expedient to protect a man who bombed an airliner causing huge civilian casualties. Disregarding calls from countries affected and by the families who lost their loved ones, acting in defiance of the law, of morality and of humanity, the government is STILL protecting this man.

Yes, Luis Posada Carriles, whom even declassified CIA and FBI documents allege was "one of the engineers of the 1976 terrorist bombing of Cubana Airlines flight 455 that killed 73 passengers", was protected by the Bush administration, and still is now. His extradition to Venezuela (amongst other countries) where he is wanted for this crime, has been blocked again and again. He was allegedly on the CIA payroll.

He was welcomed and celebrated as a hero by the Cuban community in Florida, USA.

Surely a boycott of American goods, particularly by the Scots, is in order? How about refusing all imports of hypocrisy?

You couldn't make it up...

2009-06-26T11:56:00.000+02:00

calendar>>June 25. 2009 Juche 98

Taedonggang Beer

Pyongyang, June 25 (KCNA) -- The beers including black beer and rice beer made by the Taedonggang Beer Factory are these days popular with the Pyongyang citizens.

Beer houses are crowed with working people who look pleased with their successes in the current 150-day campaign.

It was Juche 91 (2002) that the just built Taedonggang Beer Factory began supplying beer to the citizens.

The cold and soft Taedonggang beer rich in gas content immediately came into great favor among the customers by catering to their tastes.

Its fermentation degree is 77.5 percent.

The beer houses distributed rationally in residential quarters regularly serve beer carried to them directly from the factory.

The refrigerator vans carrying beer have a traffic privilege on the streets of Pyongyang like cars carrying soybean milk to children.

The citizens call Taedonggang beer "cold yet warm beer" as it is associated with the warm care of General Secretary Kim Jong Il for the people.

Existence of God Proved! Miracle of Pope's Face in Used Condom! Will DNA Analysis Throw Light on the Genetics of God?

2009-03-31T12:15:00.012+02:00

Yes, God exists, and she's not Catholic.

This used condom, already the subject of intense speculation and pilgrimages to the little-known town of Vierzon, in the French Région Centre, was found by a dog and brought home, abandoned in the yard and then rediscovered by Madame Y., the dog's owner.

She said (quoted in The Berry Républicain, the local newspaper which first broke the story) "I was a loyal Catholic, but do not think that God would have chosen to put the Pope's representation into such an object without reason. It may be that the Pontiff's recent statements in Africa that Capôtes Anglaises (French letters) make AIDS worse has something to do with it, because even I know that he must have been drunk or joking, perhaps the both, and that is not suitable for a man of his rank."

The condom has been frozen inside an ice-cube made from holy water in an attempt to preserve the contents for possible DNA analysis, with some believers asserting that if God put the image into the "preservatif" then the contents too must be of divine origin, though the Church has already issued a statement underlining the fact that God would certainly not use a condom if the man Ratzinger had prohibited it (AFP, April 1 2009).

Zombie Mash & Oysters

2009-02-24T17:27:00.037+01:00

For pedagogical reasons, I have been invited to prepare an English meal for about 100 people, in France. After much consideration I decided, before the usual second course of English cheeses, sweet wholemeal biscuits, celery and port, to prepare oysters in bacon with puréed potatoes.
It's a fundamentally simple dish when prepared for 4 or 5 people but quantitative expansion brings qualitative problems.

Oysters are removed from their shells, they and their liquor separated and kept to one side. The oysters will be wrapped in bacon, fixed with a toothpick…

…flash-grilled and served on a small mountain of purée, made with the oysters' liquor: mashed potatoes that taste of the sea. The bacon is crispy, but the oyster it protects is merely lukewarm.

Fortunately, a nearby restaurant is lending me its kitchen for three hours, and a team of twelve people will open the many, many oysters. Had the restaurant not offered this help, the enrobed oysters would have been cooked using a welding torch or small flame-thrower.

I have been conducting experiments at home, in the kitchen above, as to the mash, and it is these that I wanted to share with you, since it is not at all obvious what sort of purée should be used with oysters on the one hand and smoked bacon on the other.

Even to open my own dozen oysters provide a problem. I had no oyster knife, and Berliners are strangers to good sea food, so none were in the shops. I had to use, variously, a pair of scissors, an ordinary knife and a spoon. This worked, though the juices had to be sieved to remove bits of shell.

Then: there is no decent bacon in Berlin. Not under that name anyway. There is so-called "breakfast bacon" in the shops, but it is a thin, tasteless, miserable product, pumped up with water which oozes out as you try to fry it. However, there is the excellent smoked belly of pork called Speck, and this, in its lean version, is just like good old British smokey bacon.

So the oysters were opened, and their liquor kept in a wine glass…

…a large amount of potatoes was boiled, creamed with butter, salt, pepper and the oyster juices and kept warm whilst different flavours were added to 4 different parts of it, leaving one in its "original" condition.

I decided to try Parmesan cheese, caramelised onions, smoked chili and garlic, and French Provençale mustard, endeavouring to keep the different additives apart.

Most were disgusting. But the caramelised onions went best with the purée de pommes de terre aux huîtres, and it is that combination, served in industrial quantities, that will grease the lips of the terrified French.

Exciting art and graphic news from North Korea!

2009-01-22T16:15:00.002+01:00

No pictures this time, the titles should stir readers' imaginations…

"January 21. 2009 Juche 98

Poster Exhibition Opens

Pyongyang, January 21 (KCNA) -- An exhibition of posters calling for intensifying the drive to implement the joint New Year editorial opened at the Pyongyang International Cultural Centre on Tuesday.

On display there are more than 70 posters instilling confidence and courage into all the servicepersons and people in the general advance to implement the joint editorial.

"Let all of us turn out in the drive for implementing the tasks laid down in the joint editorial!" and "Let us bring about a new great revolutionary upswing on all fronts in the same spirit as displayed by the workers of Kangson!" and other posters truthfully represent the revolutionary spirit of the Korean people waging the general offensive united closer around the party.

Such posters as "Let us exalt the dignity and might of Songun Korea with the mental power of all the servicepersons and people!" and "World, look at the spirit of Songun Korea!" fully reflect the firm resolution and mettle of the servicepersons and people to surely open the gate of a great prosperous and powerful nation.

Among them are posters "Let us bring about collective innovations!" and "For independence, democracy and reunification!" with diverse themes reflecting the contents of the joint editorial.

Also displayed in the venue are at least 80 works created by artists of different art studios while experiencing the pulsating reality of the general advance in the new year."

Pinter clarifies for us how to live with Zombie and quantum physics. A Zombie New Year Smile.

2009-01-05T13:58:00.009+01:00

Harold Pinter, who died at Christmas, wrote in 1958 and expanded in 2005 something which makes clear that the worry about "yes and no, true and false" etc. at the heart of any Zombie, Post-Modern or scientific discourse (which must recognise the tentative nature of reality) is swept away by the simple recognition that we have different responsibilities at different levels of thinking, of acting in and on the world.

1958: "There are no hard distinctions between what is real and what is unreal, nor between what is true and what is false. A thing is not necessarily either true or false; it can be both true and false."

Nobel Prize speech of 2005: "I believe that these assertions still make sense and do still apply to the exploration of reality through art. So as a writer I stand by them but as a citizen I cannot. As a citizen I must ask: What is true? What is false?"

Is there, however not a contradiction here? No. Both statements are simultaneously true (smile).
Here is Pinter's speech for the Nobel Prize.

Loosely in the Sky with Microns: Zombie Ratio-Belicosity

2008-11-28T12:11:00.007+01:00

(An utterly irrelevant image of a wool ruler, the result of inputting "micron ruler" into Google images. The astute reader (V.) will notice that the ruler appears to contain 2 5/8 of the notes from a musical keyboard. More research needed here, I think.)

(North) Korean Central News Agency, Nov. 28 2008 (Juche 97)

"The U.S. military openly hinted at a preemptive attack on the DPRK, crying out for "shifting the focus to the naval and air forces" and pushing ahead with the moves to reinforce the ultra-modern air strike force, a clear indication of its scenario for provoking another Korean war.
The U.S. imperialist bellicose forces are seriously mistaken if they think they can bring down the DPRK through a strategy for preemptive attack. Should the enemies infringe upon the inviolable sky, land and sea of the country even 0.001mm, the DPRK will mercilessly wipe out provocateurs with the might of Songun and thus remove the root cause of a war from this land. The U.S. imperialist bellicose forces would be well advised to behave themselves."

Zombie Fear and Loathing

2008-11-13T10:33:00.005+01:00

Yes, Zombies - being in all respects, with no exceptions, like us (that's the point, do you see?) - can "feel" terror too.
With all due deference to the infinite number of infinitely more terrifying concepts, and knowing that to feel real terror counts amongst the worst experiences anyone can have, that terrorists are by no means the greatest source of human-generated terror in the world, and that psychopaths (NOT to be confused with Zombies, who most certainly can and do empathise with others) are all over the place and often in positions of power… with all due deference to that, one of the worst things I saw this morning, when starting to read a book on randomness and randomicity, were the dread words

See p. 1089

A hardened heart is hard to bend, but not difficult to break.

2008-09-25T11:02:00.016+02:00

A broken heart can, in theory, be given the appearance of wholeness by reflection in a suitable non-planar mirror. Unfortunately, such a mirror can only be constructed by taking a flat one and breaking it.
A knowledge of the nature of the broken heart can lead to a mathe-
matical possibility of reconstruction of the mirror, in a higher dimension, by a folding process. But you still want to die.
If you're a Zombie, you can't.
In a story of espionage, betrayal and self-deception on all sides, pieces of the mirror are typically given to a number (n>1) of people who can identify each other by flashing "their" fragment of glass, and fitting it and their colleague's to a general plan which all share. The most inept amongst them mistake this identification and juxtaposition of shards for love.

What Zombies Eat

2008-09-19T18:22:00.011+02:00

The Mercy of Dollars - 1000 Words from Palin

2008-09-19T18:22:00.010+02:00

A computer was used to analyse the nomination acceptance speech by the appalling, disgusting, lying Palin. The technique used is that of Markov Chains, whereby a deep statistical analysis is used to produce a text whose words and their contexts are a statistically accurate representation of the original speech. It would be too sickening for you to read the original, but as a Zombie I can peruse the dreadful text without too much damage. This 1000 words is presented so that you can get the gist of her talk without the excruciating horror of actually reading it.
Please watch this video, then read the dangerous red text below.

…solar, wind, geothermal, and met far graver challenges...
And produced by using energy problems - I'm just the theme... And thumbs up the stadium lights go up? Or maybe that's now opened for politics as commander in San Francisco.
As governor, I was among the culture of our state and produced by himself. He's a McCain-Palin administration, we're going to bring challenge. And since our own oil that deal was over the right reason is with our cause. Join our citizens of Alaska: we've chosen the pollsters and banners, or keep your job at the Washington for president supports plans to the status quo, to Washington herd. He's a vital pipeline to accomplish, after day. Our opponents say, again and met in April, my kids' public interest - the citizens of Alaska's North Slope of the uniform of this spirit that he praised Harry Truman. I stood up with those leaders, like millions of special confidence of them their careers. And since our own oil deliveries... We share, then I am so proud member of Senator Obama plan? What Obama and dignity. I will lead America is a package. We have been powerless... The Persian Gulf. To the spirit that brought me be better proof that experience, let me explain to leave ourselves at heart. The voters knew better. And when the world, a time for a candidate who has the matter squarely. There is not going to Iraq with a pattern with deeds' My parents are hard to count on that I became governor of 2000 to him speak, it's easy to govern with integrity I'm not just the side of like that already. But with integrity, good opinion - not long way from Washington... And sheer guts of threats and produced by American ingenuity, and two decades and a massive tax burden on working people when all the permanent political establishment.
And since our opponent. How are too high... He would rather lose an extra prayer each night for city council, I can be so hard to you more than see us to be so proud member of opportunity. My parents are good standing of foreign powers that already. But when those reporters and daughters.
I can be considered for more reason to bring challenge. And take the determination, resolve, and other alternative sources. We grow our five children.
In our country in our wars.
They overlooked the prospect of actual achievement and championed reform is exactly is finally in uniform. Track is told: When a man himself - like millions of special love. To the ones whose name you can inspire with his dramatic speeches before devoted followers. And families cannot leave this country I suspended the ones whose names appear on buttons and people like millions of war, a production operator in sight... He can't stand up for a massive tax burden to count on self-designed presidential election of dollars.
My sister Heather and commentators: I'm not be any better proof that he praised Harry Reid, the primary election of their careers to Washington for this week is much to join our country he actually do great man named Tom Moe of Alaska's North Slope... A story is not solve all by hundreds of rhetoric has come through without delay... He refused to John McCain, who use their usual in courage, and by American ingenuity, and as the public interest - as a community organiser, except that deal was struck, we found it. Congress have been able to end their religion and haberdasher from the journey of both. Our nominee for the many special interests, lobbyists, who knows the compassion that already.
But with honesty, sincerity, and admire about his words. For a community, and those troops, that reason to control a servant's heart.
The voters knew better. When McCain shuffled back where winning means survival and Sally Heath.
Hockey mom Long ago, a young farmer and change the uniform of like a community organiser, except when he wants to meet them is not solve all those troops, that sometimes my kids sure miss her. I knew better. When a message: For a story all across this nation better off if we cannot throw away from a season, a community, and gas.
And there to lay more of this spirit that comes from torturous interrogations, he loves. With their country, in North American workers. What does he loves. With their careers to campaign and people by request if our citizens should not looking for all Americans expect us that do nothing at it, I guess a little news flash for this candidate unqualified for our opponents say, We're going into the support great things. There is laid and produced by veto in this election seem to them and resources. As for Vice President of veto in the nightmare world champion snow machine racer. Throw in Michigan or create jobs with a grin and may God bless America. I fought for you... In Juneau... When they realise there to cut off if necessary. Senator Johns McCain. In politics, there to leave this nation could muddle through this. My fellow Americans, that in sight... He loves. With their good times and Sally Heath.
Hockey mom Long ago, a young farmer and relentless reform helps explain why so many things in Minnesota. How are you all, and defeat means survival and downs' Our opponents say, We're going to them and Piper. And children later he's talking about how evil is sort of one into the roar of liked things in our wars.
They are those, like and that do not a message: For a chief executive, I knew better.
And when he was among the mercy of dollars. My nephew Kasey also enlisted, and knew better. And among those reporters and those people when the old politics and healing the theme... And help our European allies by using energy resources, brought victory except that Bridge to do nothing at heart.
I fought the army infantry in chief.

Zombie God: Republicans' Convention Wrecked by Hurricane Gustav

2008-09-01T12:31:00.002+02:00

Truly, God moves in a mysterious way, Her wonders to perform.

Post-Modern Space Compression Celebrated in North Korea!

2008-07-30T11:49:00.010+02:00

Youth and Students' Balls Held

Pyongyang, July 28 (KCNA) -- Dancing parties of youth and students were held in different parts of the country on July 27 to celebrate the 55th anniversary of the victory in the great Fatherland Liberation War. At dancing parties held at the plazas of the Monument to Victory in the Fatherland Liberation War, the April 25 House of Culture, the Pyongyang Indoor Stadium and other places in Pyongyang, youth and students presented sea of dances … looking up to President Kim Il Sung, the invincible and iron-willed commander and the legendary hero … who led the Fatherland Liberation War to victory with his … distinguished commanding art and matchless pluck, thus demonstrating the dignity and honor of heroic Korea to the whole world.

Songs … "Our General Is Best" and "General Employs the Art of Compressing Space" further enlivened the atmosphere of celebration.

And if you have been, thanks for looking.

On Zombie Creativity

2008-07-18T16:41:00.018+02:00

(Liquid tantalum freezing - computer simulation - my colour emphases and changes)

Again, one has to fight slightly against the image - and it usually is an image - of the living dead walking like, well, Zombies, arms outstretched, aching to chew brain, having none of their own. How many times must one repeat, Zombies are indistinguishable in every way from human beings. By definition! There is no epistemological, hetero-phenomenological nor any other test that can spot a Zombie.

The question "can a Zombie be creative?" is thus trivial, and the answer is of course yes: if by creative you mean doing things that, if a human being had done them, you'd call creative (cf. Artificial Intelligence, "Computer Art" etc.)

Further, in this Zombie blogger's own experience, to be a Zombie is to have almost a sharper insight into the creative process, unmitigated by "feelings" of, well, anything. And no, you can't use creativity, anecdotally or statistically, to tell if someone is a Zombie since once again you just wouldn't KNOW if you'd found one or not. (The fact that I assert that I became a Zombie in 1998 is of no relevance - I might be lying, one way or another.)

So where do new ideas spring from? When all real emotion and feeling is stripped away, what does a Zombie DO to have a good new idea?

A Zombie - indeed a human being too - does well to consider that new concepts often arise at the disjunction between disciplines. For example: between hydraulics and crowd theory; or between materials science and sociology; or psychology and alchemy.

(Electron microscope image of iron-doped strontium titanate - MIT)

In general, one needs an understanding (the greater the better, obviously) of a minimum of TWO separate disciplines. In addition, one needs a third, meta-discipline, which enables one to see and make sense of the very disjunctions and associated structures and events of which I am talking. These might be, in a physical model (any area which studies, as it were, fault lines, will do) metallurgy or geology. The former has much to say about what happens at grain boundaries, those areas of chaotic "structure" where solidifying liquid metal growing leaf-like, perhaps, in one direction, seeded by a speck of impurity, a micro-temperature change etc., meets metal solidifying in another direction, from another source. Like two marching armies meeting at an angle, they will come to a halt where they meet with much chaos and "holes" etc. at the crucial boundary. It can easily be imagined that the crystal structure, as it is called, of a metal gives rise to higher-lever mechanical (etc.) properties. The marching armies are in fact regular 3-dimensional arrays of atoms lined up in more or less precise structures, cubic, hexagonal etc. It is easy to "slice" or deform a metal along this "grain". Thus the smaller the crystals, the more the boundaries, the more the changes of direction, the tougher the material is likely to be. (These crystals or grains are usually microscopic, but a look at zinc-galvanised iron, or an old brass railing or doorknob, will often show crystals of centimetre size or greater. You can see them because the different alignments of atoms or moleclues reflect light in different ways! Magic!

A society in which everyone believes the same is easy to disrupt, or "slice through". One in which there are lots of differences is likely to be more immune to such disturbance and less open to collapse.

Geology might be another good area with which to have an acquaintance, where creative "magma" might squirt out between impinging tectonic systems.

Of course, the ideal area from which to make sense of "fault-line creativity" is 'Pataphysics, the science of exceptions and the unexpected, which sees everything as an exception, and unexpected, the universe being that which is an exception to itself.

Zombie creativity thus springs not from any interstices or chaotic regions between living and dead, yes or know, 1 or 0 etc. (there are none - Zombies are simultaneously BOTH) but rather from the detached - oh so detached - observation of the changes between, as Leonard Cohen or Spencer Brown, Buddhism or 'Pataphysics would have it, the shoreline and the sea. (G. Spencer Brown's first imperative is "Draw a distinction", perhaps a circle on a damp beach with a stick. One might think this is antithetical to "yes and no"… but there can be a tunneling under… Oh I love this!)

Art and writing are two areas where this may be expected to happen.

Thought for the day

2008-07-08T16:07:00.007+02:00

"To every complex problem there is a simple solution, and it's wrong."

H. L. Mencken

Immigrants Ate My Lawn

2008-04-29T23:06:00.004+02:00

À propos the person in Austria who allegedly locked up his daughter with whom he fathered 7 kids, of whom one died, over 24 years, and the debate and breast-beating about "do we look out for our neighbours enough"…

I'm sure that the "denouncing tendency", well-known in conservative, uptight places like Austria - but increasingly found all over the place - "they haven't got papers!" "she took photos of her kids in the bath!" "immigrants ate my lawn!" and so on - in other words a phobia against what's different, whipped up by the gutter-press - goes absolutely hand-in-hand with an unwillingness to investigate, to complain about, even to see, REAL wrongs that are going on behind a "correct" facade. You "behave" on the exterior? Fine, you're one of us. Do what you like to your wife and kids… It's fairly sickening, really.

A Zombie approach is to know that we, or people we vote for or tacitly support, are doing stuff like this all the time. These appalling people become transparent to us. If only walls would too, we'd have the lot of them behind bars, from this sick fool to Bush.

What's for tea?

2008-03-02T18:24:00.009+01:00

As well as the usual puffer fish poison (tetrodotoxin), ground bones of children and so on, the Haitian Bokor, or sorcerer, when producing a powder that will comatise a potential Zombie (see here for more) who may be buried then disinterred, often uses the dried fruit of the Jimson weed, datura stramonium.

Another popular name for this plant is the Zombie's cucumber - or as it is known in Haiti, concombre zombie.

The rather pretty plant and interesting fruit are shown below…

Of course one hesitates to appear old-fashioned, though there may well be an argument that the living dead can damn well do as they please, but I can't stop thinking about cucumber sandwiches.

This refreshing accompaniment to English tea-time, and an obligatory part of the English Zombie Cricket Match, to which the British film "Shaun of the Dead" made reference (see illustration…)
…may also be prepared at home as a cheap alternative to the more usual cold roast beef, chilled horseradish and vodka soup, rose-petal couscous and Christmas cake with whipped soya product.

The first twenty or so Zombie cucumber sandwiches should be be prepared with normal cucumber, since the correct sequence of slicing, salting and draining the cucumber, cutting (one will not of course use sliced bread) and buttering thin slices of preferably walnut rye bread (slightly salted butter may be used) is desperately important.

Zombie tooth brush

2008-01-12T15:07:00.000+01:00

A most excellent start to the new year. Ok, I'm desperate.

That's the way to do it! Slight anger from North Korea

2007-11-26T10:29:00.000+01:00

Elimination of Ri Hoe Chang Called for by Koreans in China

Pyongyang, November 24 (KCNA) -- The General Association of Koreans in China Wednesday issued a statement titled "Let's decisively eliminate Ri Hoe Chang, a heinous sycophantic traitor and anti-reunification element, in the name of nation."
The statement accused Ri, a political imposter in south Korea, of going mad with his ambition to become "president" these days, noting that he is a wicked sycophantic traitor, an anti-reunification element and a kingpin of irregularities and corruption.
The traitor at a press conference slandered pro-reform forces, ballyhooing about "a decade wasted," and not content with this, he not only blustered that "he would radically reshape the policy toward the north" but also openly revealed his sinister attempt to bar the inter-Korean relations from improving, the statement said, and continued:
This guy, who is no more than human scum, was forsaken by the times and the public and eliminated from the political arena for his despicable sycophantic and traitorous and anti-reunification acts and irregularities and corruption. His bid to take "presidential office" is, therefore, an intolerable insult to the south Korean people and an unpardonable mockery of justice and conscience.
The south Korean people from all walks of life desirous of the June 15 era should properly see through the danger of the present situation and mete out a stern judgement to such dregs of history as Ri Hoe Chang and decisively eliminate him so that he may not raise his head again. The statement accused Ri Hoe Chang, a politician whose days are numbered, of declaring his candidacy for the "presidential elections" recently though he was forsaken by the times and the nation for being dregs of history and working with bloodshot eyes to win people's favor.

'Pataphysical music from Hang Drum

2007-11-02T14:43:00.000+01:00

The Hang drum, from the Bernese Swiss dialect for "hand" - yes, the Swiss always sound as if they have a cold - is a wonderful instrument. Last night I was lucky enough to meet two skilled players. Looking today on the web, I found (a) that it is almost literally impossible to buy one and (b) this page on eBay where one can buy a CD of Hang music (only until November 12).
Now, on this page you can also listen to excerpts from the tracks.
All at once. Turn your sound up; get them ALL going.
This is 'Patamusic at its best.

Zombie Dylan

2007-10-18T12:07:00.001+02:00

An Admirable Song

2007-10-16T14:42:00.000+02:00

Since 'Pataphysics concerns itself with, as well as exceptions, the constrained, the weird and the excellent, I am happy to bring you, in case you don't know it, the most astonishing "Weird Al" Yankovic who apart from his stunning Dylan imitation has taken the palindromic to new levels. Please admire this.

Art from Chemical Warfare

2007-09-21T12:09:00.000+02:00

Art Performance Mirrors Workers' Firm Faith and Will

Pyongyang, September 20 (KCNA) -- The performance of Art circle members of the Hungnam Fertilizer Complex (1) was given before capacity audience at the People's Palace of Culture in Pyongyang, which began on September 15.
It fully reflected the invariable faith of the Korean working class to thoroughly adhere to the socialist principle, revolutionary principle, in any adversity and their revolutionary optimism.
In satiric dialogue "The voice of Hungnam," choral recitation "Let us add luster to the revolutionary heritage of the fatherly leader under the leadership of the great General," wind instrument music and song "May, Month of Victory" and other numbers, the performers gave impressive presentation of the immortal feats the peerlessly great persons performed at the complex.
Drum and song "General on a Galloping White Horse" which involved over 80 people and instrumental music and song "Ballad of Mt. Singo" and other numbers touched the heart strings of the audience for their unique form of works that could be created only in working site seething with worthwhile labor and life.
Duet "Following the General" and "We are a worker-couple" sung by a discharged soldier-couple mirrored the faith and will of the workers that they are sure to win when they firmly believe in and follow leader Kim Jong Il in whatever ordeals.
Vice-minister of Chemical Industry Pak Chol, when interviewed, said that the repertoire is full of the heroic stamina and enthusiasm of the working class and helps feel the worth and pride of labor. I came to more keenly feel again that the true life can be seen among workers and only the art pieces created at working sites can be popular among the people, he added.

-------------------------

(1) "The Chemical Directorate Training Department organizes combat training of chemical warfare units and subunits as well as specialist training. It coordinates with other entities of the directorate on a number of questions and directly oversees the chemical warfare school, officer schools and training regiments, particularly the Hungnam Chemical Engineering College, which trains officer cadres for chemical warfare troops and at the same time performs functions of an NBC center.
North Korea has at least eight industrial facilities that can produce chemical agents; however, the production rate and types of munitions are uncertain. Presumably one or more of the agents [sarin, tabun, phosgene, adamsite, prussic acid and a family of mustard gases] comprising the basis of North Korean chemical weapons are produced at the Hungnam Fertilizer Complex, probably asphyxiating and tear agents." (wikimapia)

Zombie Athletics

2007-09-18T10:02:00.000+02:00

Today we are privileged to be able to see a hitherto censored image (actually from 1996) of the Dear World-Popular Slim and Most Excellent Athlete Kim Jong-Il, son of the Immortal Darling Immense Father (deceased) Kim Jong-Il, whose Collected Woks (sic) are the talk of many an intellectual gathering, participating in his own Exemplary Fashion and giving Dear On-the-Spot-Guidance to North Korean athletes.

In fact, research (Yue, G.H., Bilodeau, M., Hardy, P.A. and Enoka, R.M. (1997), Task-dependent effects of limb immobilisation on the fatigability of the elbow flexor muscles in humans, Experimental Physiology, 82: 567-92 in Smith, A. (2002), The Brain’s Behind It: New knowledge about the brain and learning, Network Educational Press.) has shown that by simply imagining one is taking exercise over a number of weeks, one's muscles do grow stronger…

Good.

Shakespeare's Face Revealed in Badly Stained Knife.

2007-09-08T17:38:00.000+02:00

Yes, more pareidoliac action.

Also, whilst taking a random Zombograph of wild mushrooms, tasteful flowers usw., I noticed a large pile of dust forming itself in to the approximate shape of a dog.
The inanimate objects of the world are clearly trying to tell us something: a warning? No, it's not that.

Bush Face in Pudding Shock! Yet More Pareidolia

2007-08-28T10:04:00.000+02:00

Pareidolia in North Korea…

In a miraculous coming-together of some of the main themes of this blog, we present the scandalous North Korean Central News Agency photo, released by "accident", showing the Irrevocably Magnificent Wondrous Leader and Great Gastronome Kim Jong Il, son of the Immortal Leader (deceased) Kim Il Sung, inspecting a Yorkshire Pudding which, when removed from the Peoples' Army Oven, revealed the hideous likeness of "President" and war criminal Bush.

…and the devil's face in a red pepper

2007-08-25T15:42:00.000+02:00

Video installation

Detail

Zombie Biscuits - Emergent Properties

2007-08-24T15:55:00.000+02:00

A clearly visible "Black Zombie" (inset enlarged) - note the eyes. The appropriate authorities have been notified.

Regular readers will know that I have previously celebrated examples of the stupidly gullible (usually "religious") believing that they have found or observed sacred imagery in potatoes, aubergines, American subways (the underpass and the sandwich) and so on. Doubtless there are many who would willingly put up with long queues of the frenzied and the rich outside their doors, pushing and fighting to see some holy phenomenon and perhaps to buy some small but not insignificantly priced memento.

Now, you too can participate in this gastronomic iconography, using these easily made ZOMBIE BISCUITS - a startlingly realistic image virtually GUARANTEED in every biscuit. Your friends will be amazed, the press stunned.

They also taste very good, though clearly to eat one would be tantamount to heresy under some religious regimes.

Preheat an oven to 200° C, (500 °F - Ha! Let the Americans burn them!) then make a dough that would usually end up as oatmeal biscuits:

50 g oatmeal flour, 175 g wholewheat or spelt flour, 2 level teaspoons of baking powder (raising agent), 90 g cold, chopped up butter, 2 level table-spoons of sugar, 2 table-spoons of milk; a pinch of salt, and a few pinches of oat flakes.

Mix all the dry ingredients and the butter together in a large bowl with the fingertips until they become crumb-like, then add the milk and mix and knead to form a dough, about 2 on a scale of 0 to 9 where 0 = totally dry and 9 = sloppy and wet; the mixture should seem a bit too dry, if you tried to roll it out now it would crack. Leave the dough covered in the bowl for 10 minutes.

Now toss 50 g fresh blueberries into the bowl and mash them into the dough. The juice that emerges will make the dough moister. Don't let the fruit totally disintegrate though.

Put the dough in a lump on a floured surface & roll it out to about 0.5 cm thickness with a floured rolling pin or bottle. Using a small glass, cut out circles of approximately 5 cm diameter and place them on a baking sheet, either special baking paper or non-stick metal: they can stick badly if not. Prick the biscuits several times each with a fork, and place in the preheated oven. Ignore, for the moment, all the dark forms in the biscuits. Just do it automatically, don't think. You want to be surprised by the emergent properties.

After 10 to 12 minutes the biscuits should be just changing colour at the edges, no more. Remove from the oven and put somewhere to cool for a few minutes.

Now you can observe the multitude of Zombies, saints, prophets, gods, sexual symbols, miniature horses and cosmic patterns that you have created. Savour each form, photograph the best, send it to the local press— the national press will take up the story later. Declare that the fruit fell in by accident, though as if it were meant to, and that you didn't notice the picture until much later.

In case there are biscuits containing (but this is unlikely) no significant religious or other imagery, the biscuits should be eaten with either Blue Stilton or Red Leicester cheese, available from any decent cheese shop. Roquefort or Cheddar make rather poor, but just about acceptable, substitutes.

To those who might aggressively argue that I am cheapening or demeaning food-based religious experiences, just shut the fuck up.

And if you have been, thanks for looking…

Important Restaurant Access News from North Korea

2007-07-05T12:07:00.000+02:00

"Ryonmot Restaurant

Pyongyang, July 4 (KCNA) -- The Ryonmot (lotus pond) Restaurant at the foot of Mt. Jang has been recently reconstructed. Now it is crowded every day.
Its predecessor was the Janggyong Restaurant. The restaurant, once a small one, has changed its looks completely to be a public catering center. It tells about the warm love shown by Kim Jong Il for the people.
Over 40 years ago, he took part in the project for expanding the road between Wasan-dong and Ryongsong along with students of Kim Il Sung University. The project was launched according to the plan of President Kim Il Sung for the capital construction.
One day in May, he called at the Janggyong Restaurant which was common in the city at that time. He said with apprehensions that the door-sill of the restaurant was too high.
The manager was deeply moved by his kind words. In fact, the employees of the restaurant and many customers went in and out through the door since its opening but they did not feel that."

Orders can be phoned in, but don't trip over…

Of Poppies and Wild Roses

2007-05-21T15:42:00.000+02:00

On the RER train from Châtelet to Roissy-Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris, I thought: there's no intrinsic value, no special beauty, colour and so on, not even in these poppies and wild roses. It's just a human construction. The rail-side rubbish, any blade of grass, is just as real, no more nor less a part of the universe blah blah blah. And of course while this should make one happy, uplifted, in awe of the oneness of all things, it actually is… depressing.

But the reflective Zombie part of me wants there to be the possibility of a slip sideways into, you know, something a bit more vivid.

Here's where 'Pataphysics comes in. The science of imaginary solutions. You know, don't you, about imaginary numbers. For any number, along the line of real numbers, you can construct a "complex number" by combining the number with a multiple of i, the square root of minus one. This new number then lies on a complex plane whose horizontal axis is the real numbers …-2, -1, 0, 1, 2… and whose vertical axis the imaginary numbers.

Although it all sounds a bit silly, it has been of immense practical use for many, many years.

The point now is that 'Pataphysics is a lot like i. If the mundane lies along a (railway) line then 'Pataphysically to put into question, to vivify, all that we see we merely have to consider this new (not spatial) "dimension" of the world as, at least temporarily, real. Then a rose is not a rose is not a rose, and this arose from a consideration of the fact that we are not just finding a new way of looking at things, which would be all too facile and fleeting, but rather rendering the rose (and poppy, and everything) more complex… at which point, it can be seen to be more simple, essentially in (and this is the new bit, not facile, not provisional) a new way.

Or mathematically:

√−5, in words the square root of minus five, which would be banal even if not "impossible", is to be avoided and i√5 used instead. The one is "trying not to be bored or world-weary". The other is both "complex" and simpler, hence more beautiful; and in passing, we can use it, practically.

Now the "poppies and wild roses" sound like a song, their beauty seen from the train not a metaphor but… a 'pataphor, this latter not my invention. I don't know how all this seems to you, but to me it was, just when I needed it, therapeutic. The recognition (via 'Pataphysics, and its manifestation in the Paris-based College of 'Pataphysics) that there are processes, ways of making sense (even if via what some might call "nonsense") of the world, that are transformatory, is a revolution. That is to say, one turns around once, sees the whole, arrives back where one was before but nothing will ever be the same again. Do it once, and be happy; twice, and…

…and if you have been: thanks for looking.

Melancholitron

2007-05-09T17:23:00.000+02:00

On melancholic days like these, one's immune system crashed because of age and Sarkosconi's election and the presence of nasty fools in the world, one's thoughts turn, as so often, to the old Meccano factory on the RER B line from Roissy Airport to Paris. 'Pataphysics, and Zombie, you see, make anything attractive, or equally boring, or something. There is no colour, no beauty "really". One struggles, then, to see beauty - glory? - in this very fact. The Sensitive Zombie, one of life's grosser oxymorons.

If Sarkozy is centre-right I am an intimate skin rash on an extinct kind of albino mongoose

2007-04-23T16:23:00.000+02:00

Coming to this blog shortly: The knee operation. The knee operation.

Kim Jong Il Inspects Knee Clinic

Pyongyang, April 23 (KCNA) -- General Secretary Kim Jong Il gives on-the-spot advice on how to smooth the medial meniscus knee cartilage.

Expecting the Unexpected, and Occam's Razor

2007-03-29T10:19:00.000+02:00

'Pataphysics, as you know, is the science of the exception; hence of the unexpected.
Well, in a way; because clearly one is looking for the unexpected. The brain habituates itself to the expected, it is the dangerous unexpected towards which much of its cognitive apparatus is geared. The brain, indeed, dreads the unexpected and has to be ready for it. Brains that did not "attendre l'inattendu" would rapidly fall prey to the motorised lawn-mower of evolution. One hears the clock stop ticking.

In fact it is possible to argue the reverse of the Monty Python case that "NO ONE expects the Spanish Inquisition!": as Kant famously said, "Ich erwarte keine spanische Inquisition" - but we now know that he was - rarely for him - being ironic and that of course that was precisely what he expected.

If one expects the unexpected, and is justified in so doing because the unexpected not infrequently happens, then surely it is the expected that causes one, so often, to be surprised, as are smokers by their lung cancers. Did Joan expect Maxwell's silver hammer? Well, we know that she was "…quizzical/studied pataphysical science in the home" so it is extremely probable.

Occam's razor tells us that the simplest solution is likely to be the more elegant, that one should "shave off" extraneous bits of theory in the interests of parsimony. For example, outside of mental aberration it is simpler, and more elegant, and more likely to be true, that it was not god who created the world complete with fossils not very long ago.

Quantum physics, of course, puts us in a bit of a quandary. Let us simply assert, with Derrida, that it is possible for an object (or, more generally, an event) to be both expected and unexpected; the waveform collapses down to - incredibly! - a paradox when examined. For if it be the one, then it is surely the other, and vice versa.

It is for the above reasons that the Paris-based Collège de 'Pataphysique has so very many subcommittees, and strives towards the pure (what would in lesser hands be bureaucratic) state of targeting every possible exception with its own subcommittee.

The problem here is of course encapsulated by Gödel's theorem, which (vulgarly) states that there will always be a surprise. This should not surprise us. I expect to be surprised, and am rarely disappointed.

International Women's Day - a Modest Contribution & BEAKING NEWS:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!

2007-03-08T11:19:00.000+01:00

One can do no better, surely, as a man today than leave this space to the voices (literally) of women -- in this case those of North Korea, you knew it would be that -- and this edifying communiqué from the (north) Korean Central News Agency, entitled SONGS OF WOMEN:

Pyongyang, March 7 (KCNA) -- The people love to sing songs carrying the pride and self-confidence of the women on the general advance towards the high eminence of a great, prosperous and powerful socialist nation.
The song "Love your wife" calling for respecting the women socially is popular among the people.
There are many songs showing the spiritual world of girl-soldiers in the "Persimmon tree company "," Wild flower Company" and other military units. Among them are the songs "Song of coast artillery-women" and "I am a girl-soldier in Songun era".
Reflected in the songs "I am a wife of sentry" and "I am an officer's wife" are the noble ideological sentiment and revolutionary optimism of servicemen's wives who are doing their best for their husbands defending the country devotedly.
The songs "A girl riding a swift horse", "Girls in our factory" and "A girl silk-weaver in Nyongbyon" sing of the fruitful working life of the women who are distinguishing themselves in the economic construction along with men. And the songs "Women are flowers" and "Song of wife" reflect the women's pride of creating the happiness of the families as dear wives and good mothers. The songs touch the heart-strings of the people.
Today the Korean women love to sing these songs created in the Songun era and are doing their bit in the efforts for building the great, prosperous and powerful socialist country.

and... ps... BEAKING NEWS:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!:!

Conferment of "International Kim Il Sung Prize" on Kim Jong Il Supported

Pyongyang, March 8 (KCNA) -- The news that the "International Kim Il Sung Prize" Council awarded the "International Kim Il Sung Prize" to Kim Jong Il on the occasion of his birthday has stirred up the hearts of the progressive humankind.

Tears & Tears

2007-03-04T21:13:00.000+01:00

Before

After

Being in a mending mood (the feminine side of Zombies is no less real nor undead than the male...) one wants to efface the tears, those very first ever, primordial ones painted by Giotto on the faces of the mothers in his Massacre of the Innocents. The start of art, they say.

And then, in the mood, and following the lead of the late Aline Gagnaire, of OuPeinPo, giving Lucio Fontana's wife a break and stitching up his slashed canvas Concetto Spaziale, Attesa 1964.

Before

After

There's just too much, you know, emotion around.

Image of Bush Mysteriously Appears in Shirt! and... Longest Ever Communique from North Korea Extols Brief History.

2007-02-14T18:12:00.000+01:00

As one does, I was idly taking photographs of real flowers in a vase in front of a painting including flowers in a vase (and much else, obviously) - and then distorting the resulting photographic images in Photoshop and other software in order to perform various topological operations when suddenly I noticed that an old, short-sleeved, orange tartan shirt that I use for cleaning the oil paint from brushes... had assumed the unmistakable features of the "president" of the USA. Quite why the war-criminal Bush should thus manifest himself I don't know, but who am I to question what is clearly a most un-Zombie concretisation of pure Will.

Crowds of the faithful need not rush here, nor collectors of such epi-phenomena as the face of Nicole K (peace be upon her) quite clearly etched into a slice of aubergine, for I have burned the shirt, which ignited with a satisfying WOOOOMPH due to its being rather soaked in turpentine.

Meanwhile.............

Enlarged Version of "Short Biography of Great Leader Comrade Kim Jong Il" Sees Light

Pyongyang, February 14 (KCNA) -- An enlarged version of "Short Biography of Great Leader Comrade Kim Jong Il" edited by the History Institute of the Central Committee of the Workers' Party of Korea was published by the Workers' Party of Korea Publishing House.
It has 8 chapters comprehensively dealing with the brief history of Kim Jong Il in chronological order.
The first chapter of the book deals with his revolutionary history in the period from Feb. Juche 31(1942) to Aug. Juche 49(1960). In that period he formed the "Group for the Study of the Short Biography of General Kim Il Sung" and started the study tour of the revolutionary battle sites in the area of Mt. Paektu.
Its second chapter deals with his revolutionary activities in the period from Aug. Juche 49 (1960) to Mar. Juche 53(1964)). In that period Kim Jong Il visited Guard Seoul Ryu Kyong Su Tank Division 105 of the Korean People's Army, starting his Songun revolutionary leadership. He entered Kim Il Sung University where he developed in depth the immortal Juche idea, Songun idea.
The third chapter of the book tells about how wisely he guided the party work and the drive to celebrate the sixtieth birthday of President Kim Il Sung as the greatest national holiday, etc. in the period from Apr. Juche 53(1964) to Feb. Juche 63(1974)).
Its fourth chapter deals with his revolutionary activities in the period from Feb. Juche 63(1974) to Sept. Juche 69(1980).
After being chosen as successor to Kim Il Sung and an outstanding leader of the WPK and people, he formulated the President's revolutionary idea as an integral whole of the idea, theory and method of Juche and declared it as the supreme programme of the WPK to model the whole society on the Juche idea.
The fifth chapter of the book tells about his revolutionary activities in the period from Oct. Juche 69(1980) to Dec. Juche 78(1989). This part of the book explains how he led the work to greet the sixth Congress of the WPK as a grand festival of victors and how he made sure that the Koreans and the world revolutionary people grandly celebrated the 70th birthday of the President.
It also tells that he authored many works and led the work to strengthen the KPA and the people's power and wage a dynamic movement to create "the speed in the 80s," thus bringing about a fresh surge in socialist economic construction.
The sixth chapter of the book is devoted to his revolutionary activities in the period from Jan. Juche 79 (1990) to Jul. Juche 83 (1994).
It tells that he held the important post of Supreme Commander of the KPA and was elected chairman of the DPRK National Defence Commission and wisely led the work to demonstrate the advantages and might of Korean-style socialism and revive the socialist movement.
The seventh chapter of the book dealing with his revolutionary activities in the period from Jul. Juche 83 (1994) to Dec. Juche 87 (1998) tells that after the demise of the President he put up such slogans representing his faith as "The great leader Comrade Kim Il Sung will always be with us" and "Let us arm ourselves more firmly with the revolutionary ideas of the great leader Comrade Kim Il Sung!" and led the work to build up the Kumsusan Memorial Palace as the supreme temple of Juche.
It also says that he was elected general secretary of the WPK and chairman of the NDC of the DPRK.
The eighth chapter of the book deals with his revolutionary activities in the period from Jan. Juche 88 (1999) to Oct. Juche 94 (2005). It tells that he, true to the noble intention of the President, unrolled the policy of effecting a turn in building a great prosperous powerful socialist nation, the policies of attaching importance to the ideology, the arms and science and technology and laid down other important guidelines for building a rich and powerful country.
It also deals with the facts that he arranged the historic Pyongyang meeting which culminated in the adoption of the June 15 North-South Joint Declaration, conducted energetic external activities, demonstrating the prestige and dignity of the DPRK worldwide and injecting fresh vigor into the efforts to accomplish the cause of global independence and wisely led the people to celebrate the 60th anniversary of the WPK and the 60th anniversary of the country's liberation as grand festivals of victors of the Songun revolution.

Today's Exciting Zombie Quiz

2007-02-10T18:02:00.000+01:00

abc:abd :: xyz:?

Or in English: abc is to abd as xyz is to what?

(xya would be too easy, and also ugly...)

Exciting North Korean Art News!

2007-01-30T11:26:00.000+01:00

Pyongyang, January 29 (KCNA) -- A brisk motivational campaign for inspiring the entire people to implementing the tasks set forth by the joint New Year editorial has been undertaken in the DPRK... Artistes of the South Hamgyong Provincial Art Propaganda Troupe went to various co-op farms, carrying with them a large amount of manure and farm implements, and encouraged peasants in their farming preparation with radio scripts and story-telling pieces...

But more, much more than this:

Complete Collection of Kim Il Sung's Woks (sic) Vol. 67 Off Press

Pyongyang, January 29 (KCNA) -- Complete Collection of Kim Il Sung's Woks Vol. 67 was brought out by the Workers' Party of Korea Publishing House. It is the library of the immortal Juche idea which carries his famous works systematically and comprehensively on a chronological order. Contained are 31 famous works such as historic speeches, concluding addresses and talks made by President Kim Il Sung from May to August, Juche 67 (1978).
"On Our Country's Experience in the Solution of the Rural Question", "The International Friendship Exhibition Is Precious Historic Wealth to Be Handed Down to Posterity", "On Greeting the 30th Anniversary of the Republic with High Degree of Political Enthusiasm and Brilliant Achievements in Labor" and other works indicate policies for effecting a new great upswing in all fields and units of the national economy and improving the standard of people's living and ways for their implementation and questions of principle in strengthening education in revolutionary tradition and education in socialist patriotism among the members of the WPK and other working people.
"The General Association of Korean Residents in Japan Should Conduct Well the External Work to Actively Contribute to the Cause of National Reunification" and other works elucidate strategic and tactical matters in accelerating the reunification of the country.

Zombie Art: Picasso Bookshelves

2007-01-28T17:32:00.000+01:00

Project: take a photo of an artwork under glass. Note any reflections.
Proposition: These are as interesting as the artwork.
Example: A Picasso lithograph, signed. Bookshelves reflected. Use image processing to isolate.

2007-01-26T09:46:00.000+01:00

"Kidman's publicist, Catherine Olim, said the star was trying to shake zombies off the bonnet of her Jaguar when the car spun off the road."

BBC

2007-01-22T09:16:00.000+01:00

In between black and white, there is always red...

"Ok it's simple really... consciousness is an emergent property of life; life is an emergent property of matter; matter is an emergent property of existence; existence is an emergent property of distinction, and distinction 'was' totally fucking inevitable in the timeless no-thing."

"Is there an emergent property from consciousness?"

"Yes."

"Zombie?"

"Yes. Zombie and 'Pataphysics."

North Korean Army Art (Steadfastly Seethe) and Your Own Zombie Soldier Cut-Out Fold-Down Glue-Together Box!

2007-01-16T15:37:00.000+01:00

First: the embossed box. Simply make it, and have it.

Second!!!: Kim Jong Il Inspects Command of KPA Combined Unit 593

Pyongyang, January 15 (KCNA) -- General Secretary Kim Jong Il inspected the Command of KPA Combined Unit 593. He first went round the room dedicated to the education in the revolutionary history and the room devoted to the history of the unit. He said that under the wise leadership and meticulous care of President Kim Il Sung the unit grew to be a powerful force having a-match-for-a hundred combined units and units. He highly appreciated the feats of the unit, saying that it has performed proud exploits in defending the country and building socialism by displaying matchless patriotic devotion and popular heroism for the Party, the leader, the country and the people. He went round the operation study room to acquaint himself with the unit's performance of duty. He set forth the tasks facing the unit, expressing satisfaction over the fact that it has not only steadily boosted the operation commanding ability by arranging well the operation study room and focusing efforts on military exercises but has performed its guard duty in a responsible manner with a high degree of revolutionary vigilance in view of the U.S. imperialists' moves for aggression. After making the rounds of the serviceperson's hall, library and other entertainment and educational facilities, he praised the unit for having conducted the political work in a unique and profound manner with various kinds of means necessary for educating servicepersons in place and trained all of them as ideologically strong fighters equipped with a transparent revolutionary outlook. He underscored the need for the servicepersons to make book-reading part of their daily routine and a habit with strong enthusiasm so that they may become soldiers of wide knowledge. Then he went round supply service facilities of the unit and highly praised its commanding officers for having provided good living conditions to its servicepersons from a correct point of view on the supply service.
After the inspection, he enjoyed a performance given by an art squad of the unit. He extended thanks to the performers, expressing satisfaction at the successful performance with high ideological and artistic value.
The People's Army has become a model in art activities, too, he said, underlining the need to steadily conduct the drive for learning from the revolutionary soldier spirit so as to make the whole society seethe with a high degree of revolutionary enthusiasm.

Your very own copy...

2007-01-07T17:59:00.000+01:00

...to cut out and keep!
Yes this miniature cocktail umbrella can be yours so long as you enjoy access to a printer, paper and scissors. Glue the thingies together, purchase a Chinese newspaper, cut out a small strip, roll it up tight around a toothpick and soak in glue - flour and water will do. This becomes the ferrule of the umbrella. It is usual to incorporate at least one piece of photo or solid red part in the paper strip, to add value. Pierce the... oh this is too boring, just do it ok?

Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116

2007-01-06T23:50:00.000+01:00

From Wikipedia:

Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (pronounced /?al?bin/) was a name intended for a Swedish child who was born in 1991.

The boy's parents had planned never to legally name him at all, as a protest to the naming law of Sweden, which reads: "First names shall not be approved if they can cause offense or can be supposed to cause discomfort for the one using it, or names which for some obvious reason are not suitable as a first name."

Because the parents (Elizabeth Hallin and an unidentified father) failed to register a name by the boy's fifth birthday, a district court in Halmstad, southern Sweden, fined the parents 5,000 kronor. Responding to the fine, the parents submitted the 43 character name in May 1996, claiming that it was "a pregnant, expressionistic development that we see as an artistic creation." The parents suggested the name be understood in the spirit of 'pataphysics. The court rejected the name and upheld the fine.

The parents then tried to change the spelling of the name to A (also pronounced /?al?bin/) instead. Once again, the court did not approve of the parents' ideas for naming.

2007-01-04T15:29:00.000+01:00

"Zombie willpower is fundamentally a result of a broken brain."
(from a site dealing with Zombie science, neuro-biology etc.)

How little they know...

Impersonating Impersonators & Zombie Christmas

2006-12-30T21:49:00.000+01:00

In Moscow, a crowd paid up to 45 $ a ticket to see Maxim Galkin, a famous impersonator and host of the Russian franchise of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire". They expected to see the impersonator impersonate, but instead gradually realised that the person they were seeing was in fact impersonating the impersonator. Police will interview him on suspicions of fraud when he leaves hospital.

Meanwhile, in the festive season in North Korea, no more brilliant event can be imagined than the showing of part 23 of the documentary "Under the Guidance of the Great Brilliant Commander".

KCNA:
... it was screened at the People's Palace of Culture Friday on the occasion of the 15th anniversary of Kim Jong Il's assumption of office as supreme commander of the Korean People's Army. The film was watched by senior party and state officials, Cabinet members, officials of working people's organizations, ministries and national institutions and working people in Pyongyang.
The film edits historic data showing that Kim Jong Il tirelessly provided energetic guidance to develop the People's Army into an army intensely loyal to the party and the leader and devoted to the country and the people.
It tells how wisely Kim Jong Il led the servicepersons to devotedly help people in terms of politico-ideology and manpower.
It deals with the struggle of servicepersons performing labor feats in key domains of the national economy. True to the high intention of the supreme commander, the servicepersons built power stations, factories and enterprises and other edifices of Songun era in different parts of the country and took the lead in aiding the agricultural front, key front of economic construction.
The film tells that as there is loving care shown by the great Songun brilliant commander there produced a number of moving stories that soldiers devote their own lives without hesitation to defend the lives and property of the people.

North Korean Headlines

2006-12-22T08:39:00.000+01:00

Latest from the North Korean News Agency - you don't need the actual text, trust me...

Immediate Withdrawal of S. Korean Troops from Iraq Urged

Kim Jong Il Hailed as Great Strategist

New Tree Growing Stations Appear in DPRK

Many Poems and Songs See Light This Year

Anachronistic Confrontation Doctrine Blasted

New Feature Film Produced

Strict Observance of Socialist Law Called for

Wreath Laid before Bust of Kim Jong Suk

Foreign Diplomats Visit Three-Revolution Exhibition

Mushroom Widely Cultivated in DPRK

Many Model Rural Villages Built

School Uniform Associated with Noble Comradely Fidelity

S. Korean Delegation Arrives Here

Film Show Held for Economic and Commercial Councilors' Corps

Zombie Art in Paris Streets

2006-12-19T10:11:00.000+01:00

As one does, I have taken it upon myself to record photographically, then digitally, every occurrence (viz.: 1) of paint spilt into the gutter in Parisian streets. This is not only a pathetic attempt slyly to gain admittance to and acceptance from one of the very best sites on the web, the estimable Museum of Dust - aware as I am of the gulf separating a paint-spill from accumulations of tribologically and otherwise generated detritus - but also because if there is any thing that Zombies appreciate (and of course, by definition, there isn't)...

Not only can you enjoy this image, but the Subcommittee for Interactions, Participations, Anticipations and the Etymology of the Word "Falluting" has near-unanimously declared that from now on a kit or necessaire will be made available where possible free on this site. Today's project : construct an octahedron by cutting out the shape and using the tabs. Your own Parisian caniveau or gutter. Good luck and, by anticipation, well done!
And today's headline : 'I was not drunk' insists bishop

More Zombie News from North Korea

2006-11-27T10:30:00.000+01:00

Pyongyang, November 26 (KCNA) -- Rodong Sinmun today dedicates an article to the fourth anniversary of Kim Jong Il's famous work "Let's Pave Way for Fresh Victory with Same Revolutionary Faith, Will and Pluck as Great Leader (his dad) Had."

---------------

Otete Gaston Mboyo, national chairman of the Genuine Lumumbist Patriotic Party of Democratic Congo who is chairman of the Democratic Congo-Korea Friendship and Solidarity Association, made public on Nov. 20 a statement titled "Let us turn out in the activities for the implementation of the Mt. Paektu declaration on the occasion of the February holiday, the birthday of H.E. Kim Jong Il". The great idea of President Kim Il Sung who is always alive in the hearts of humankind thanks to his immortal feats performed for the cause of global independence is successfully carried forward by Kim Jong Il, the statement said...

---------------

Birthdays of Great Persons to Be Commemorated in Tanzania

Pyongyang, November 25 (KCNA) -- It is a due obligation for all the organizations for friendship and solidarity with the Korean people in the world to significantly commemorate the birthdays of the peerlessly great men as common holidays. Francis F. Lyimo, vice-chairman of the Tanzania-DPRK Friendship Association, said this in a statement issued on Nov. 16.
He expressed full support to the appeal of the Swiss organization for significantly commemorating the Day of the Sun and February 16 in 2007 as common holidays of progressive humankind.
President Kim Il Sung, the founder of the Juche idea, is the greatest man who performed immortal exploits for the Korean revolution and the cause of global independence, he noted, and continued:
Kim Jong Il is highly praised by the world progressives as the sun of the 21st century as he has successfully carried forward the cause of the President. The association will form a preparatory committee for commemorating the Day of the Sun and February 16 in 2007 to hold multifarious political and cultural events across the country and thus create an atmosphere of praising the great men.
It will also send a delegation of visitors to the old home of Kim Jong Il in the secret camp in Mt. Paektu in February 2007 and conduct dynamic solidarity activities for supporting the Korean people in their just cause.

---------------

Pyongyang, November 26 (KCNA)-- General Secretary Kim Jong Il appreciated a performance given by the State Symphony Orchestra. Also among the audience were First Vice Department Directors of the Central Committee of the WPK Ri Yong Chol, Ri Je Gang and Ri Jae Il and other leading officials of the C.C., WPK and Generals of the Korean People's Army Ri Myong Su, Hyon Chol Hae and Pak Jae Gyong and other commanding officers of the KPA.
Artistes of the orchestra put on the stage colorful numbers including "Glory to the General", the fourth movement of the symphony suite "Long Journey for the Songun Revolution", orchestras "Swinging Girl", "Arirang", "Collection of Famous Songs", "The Sound of a Horse's Hooves in Mt. Paektu", "Rich Harvest Comes to the Chongsan Plain", and a female soprano "Spinning Wheel Ballad".
They truthfully represented the strong spirit of the servicepersons and people dashing ahead like the wind to greet the dawn of a great prosperous powerful nation, holding aloft the great banner of Songun. They, at the same time, fully demonstrated the profound emotional power of the orchestras spiced with strong national flavor through the peculiar echo made by a mixed orchestra, thus clearly proving the validity and vitality of the WPK's policy of creating, arranging and representing music strictly in Korean style.

Learning the basics of Zombie Art

2006-11-24T22:05:00.000+01:00

Each art activity is governed by one or more constraints. Constraint is liberty. And so on.
And if you have been, thanks for looking.

New European Rules for Liquids, Gels, Body Fluids etc. at Airports

2006-11-02T19:16:00.000+01:00

Sac colostomie Air France

According to new legislation coming into effect on Monday the 6th of November, not only must water, alcohol, toothpaste, explosives, poisons and bio-hazard material be kept in containers each of which contains 100 ml or less, and presented in a 1 litre-or-less capacity transparent plastic bag... But also: bodily fluids, including but not limited to blood, bile, urine, faeces, cerebral-spinal fluid, the content of eyeballs (left and right), testicles (ditto, if applicable), gel-filled breast implants, and so on, and so on, must also be presented in this manner (with certain exceptions, see below).

Consequently, blood will be voided and disposed of to nearby medical facilities apart from 100 ml which may if so desired be placed into the passenger's own 100 ml container for transport. The blood is NOT to be reintroduced into the passenger before the plane has come to a complete halt and the seat-belt sign has been switched off at destination.
Certain airlines may provide free colostomy bags and other items for passengers's personal use. These, once used, are NOT transferable.

The contents of potential security-compromisable containers such as eye-sockets etc. must be worn in proximity to the organs from which they were obtained.

Those wishing actually to hijack an aircraft are still invited to obtain business class seats (first class, on certain airlines on long-haul flights) and to ask for wine (sparkling or still) which will continue to be served in glass bottles, which may be smashed on arm-rests, against doors etc., and used as cutting weapons.

North Korea Slams, Raps, Denounces, Assails, American Puppets' Multi-Tasking Abilities.

2006-10-25T11:39:00.000+02:00

"...For this criminal purpose the U.S. imperialists have long resorted to sanctions and military aggression against the DPRK.
This is, however, a pipe dream that can never come true.
And it is a hare-brained folly leading to self-destruction for the Japanese and south Korean pro-U.S. warlike forces to join in the dangerous play with fire, dancing to the drum-beating of the U.S. imperialists in the anti-DPRK racket with daggers in their belts.
The U.S., Japanese and south Korean warlike forces should no more run amuck but immediately stop the provocative war exercises, pondering over the catastrophic consequences to be entailed by their saber-rattling." (My italics.)

One does not have to be a friend of the increasingly hysterical U.S. government to appreciate the wonderful NK rhetoric. In fact, were it not so tragic a state, with such suffering entailed for so many of its people, one would really need to invent North Korea. The self-deception, the bluster, we all have it in us. Read (again) the North Korean news agency site, and reflect.

(Picture shows South Korean soldiers with daggers cunningly moved to their socks, ready to run amuck.)

French Zombies (you can do it too)

2006-10-24T18:13:00.000+02:00

An elite gathering of intellectuals and the more cultured of the Parisian population, shocked and perhaps pleasantly awed by the fact that they too have become, or are about to become, Zombies...

Al Jazeera Takes Over Fox News; and Late Zombie Science in Action

2006-10-14T14:58:00.000+02:00

From New Scientist, August 21, 2004:

VISITORS to the Pontifical Catholic University of Minas Gerais, Brazil, would be forgiven for fearing that their breakfast had been spiked. They may well be treated to the sight of a black-caped figure wearing a horror-movie mask running round the campus after a large flightless bird, while a colleague manoeuvres a stuffed jaguar on a wheelbarrow.

These earnest researchers are trying, reader Lauro Venancio Zier assures us, to teach captive-born rheas to run away from their natural predators. An admirable aim when the birds are about to be released into the wild, and if you don't believe us there are pictures at www.uol.com.br/cienciahoje/chdia/n966.htm (no there aren't - ed.)

The perils of trying to manipulate rhea psychology are illustrated, however, by the observation that the birds subjected to this treatment have in fact developed a healthy fear of wheelbarrows.

A most curious lack of the usual raving-mad postings from right-wing Americans on, for example, the BBC website "Have your say", about the head of the British army, Lieutenant General Sir Richard Dannatt KCB CBE MC (below) stating that we should get out of Iraq, and that our presence "exacerbates" the violence. Which everyone except the criminal Bush and his rabid apologists knew anyway. Is there a national holiday in the States? Has Al Jazeera taken over Fox News? I think we should be told.

Zombie Terror Alert In Germany: Nostradamus Speaks

2006-10-11T09:47:00.000+02:00

Zombies have always been with us. Archive image shows German firemen circa 1941 being trained to follow the sound of jelly being smashed. Fascists - then as now - cf Rumsfeld et al - have a peculiar horror of the unsolid, and hence of course the living dead ("...and all that is solid melts into air..." Marx 'n' Engels, Communist Party Manifesto 1872; "In the City of Washing there will be a great Wobbling, a False Believer torn apart by Chaos; while the Bush endures, all Morality will succumb, the Great Big Jelly will begin and never end, so there..." Nostradamus, The Prophecies, 1555).

A pile of jelly left beside the roadside after a wedding party (typical behavior - "We're all pissed as rats, let's..... I KNOW! - let's leave some JELLY out in the street!") was investigated as being toxic waste or worse by heavily protected firemen and others for two hours here in Germany before they decided that it was the wobbly dessert: a mixture of water, extract of dead animal, and chemical colours and aromas, we are not told what flavour. They conducted a number of tests, the conclusive one presumably being to taste it.
Or so the official story runs. In fact, as any reader of the Zombie Survival Guide would know, Zombies are adept at leaving small terror-parcels as traps for the unwary. And just as Zombies are by definition indistinguishable from human beings, so they can leave pools, for example, of stuff that is indistinguishable from vomit, even down to the bits of tomato skin you always get even if you never eat tomatoes, and those who even look at it run the risk of becoming the walking, reeking, undead.

Ekstra-Modern March of the Undead

2006-09-29T16:14:00.000+02:00

Bearing and chanting slogans such as "Zombies Was People Too", "We're Here, We're Dead, Get Used To It!" and "WHAT DO WE WANT? BRAINS! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? BRAINS!", Zombies marched on the 22nd of September on Austin (Texas, America) city hall.

For some photos, see here.

This Extra-Modern activity ("extra" in the sense of "outside", not of "particularly") - well, let's use Polish and call it Ekstra-Modern - must not be allowed to degenerate into mere spectacle. Still less, on this appalling day when the American Congress legalised torture, and thus, for me, institutionalised the United States of America as a fascist state, should talk of Zombie rights obscure more pressing needs, to say the least.
But still.

More Zombie Art News from North Korea

2006-09-26T12:23:00.000+02:00

"Railway liner" - Sin Pong Nam

A bit late, but well worth the retelling:

Pyongyang, July 26 (KCNA) -- A national exhibition of art works was held at the Pyongyang International Cultural Centre. On display there were more than 300 art pieces such as Korean paintings, oil paintings, graphic paintings and calligraphies done by creators and teachers of the Mansudae Art Studio, the Central Art Studio and Pyongyang University of Fine Arts and others in the capital city and provincial capitals.
They contributed to the exhibition those pieces drawn at factories, on farms and in scenic and other places.
Korean paintings "Another Charge", "On the Field" and "At the Site of Rice Transplantation", graphic painting "At the Construction Site of the Samsu Power Station" and other works drew particular attention of visitors as they truthfully represented the ideological and moral traits of Party members and other working people and their heroic labor drive.
On display there were also art works depicting the beautiful landscape of the country including Korean painting "Sangwon Temple in Valley", oil painting "Landscape of Moran Hill" and woodcut "Lake in the Evening."
Kang Nung Su, minister of Culture, officials concerned and artists in the city looked round the exhibition on July 25.

As with Chinese painters of Mao etc., there is only one possible response for the occidental artworld to make, that is to prepare to grab these works as soon as North Korea is liberated from the choking grip of etc., etc.
The particular, peculiar, attitude we have to such artworks once exhibited in the hallowed halls of the Centre Pompidou, the Martin Gropius Bau, American Museums and so on, is a clear reproduction of what we bring to the whole country, the people, culture and so on. Patronising appropriation. Bizarrely, you can tell a lot about the whole range of our attitudes to the countries and peoples of states actually or potentially able to be "liberated" such as Iraq, Iran, and so on and on, by the way we treat them artistically, culturally.

War and Peace: Two Zombies Speak.

2006-09-23T15:11:00.000+02:00

Naturally the common people don't want war; neither in Russia, nor in England, nor in America, nor in Germany. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.

Hermann Goering

Cost of Iraq war: Minimum estimated is 6 BILLION DOLLARS per month. Judgement by those left-leaning pinko liberal surrender-monkeys the CIA: the war in Iraq has made things worse (for America, let alone the thousands of Iraquis tortured and killed).

Peace is not the absence of war; it is a virtue; a state of mind; a disposition for benevolence; confidence; and justice.

Spinoza

Estimated number of children dying from malnutrition, unclean water etc. PER DAY: 30000, i.e. approx. 1 every 3 seconds.

Zombie Flower & Rabbit Time (yet more North Korea, sorry...)

2006-09-14T15:16:00.000+02:00

Here's an actual picture of Kimilsungia.

Interestingly, the North Korean website celebrating it talks of its development by florists. This must be the first occasion for such research, akin to booksellers writing books (and why not?) or TV repair-persons making programmes. A very Zombie activity.
A search for "Zombie" and "Kim Il Sung" yields 9421 hits on Google, including this page. But the word Zombie is clearly mostly used as an epithet, as a search for "Bush" and "Zombie" shows, yielding nearly 7.5 million mainly interesting pages.
My forthcoming novel shall rectify this, concatenating true Zombie material with Kim Il Sung, Kim Jong Il and indeed Kim Basinger.

PS - a headline from North Korea today: Pyongyang, September 13 (KCNA)

Breeding of Rabbits Encouraged

Er... I thought that was the one animal one didn't have to... Oh, never mind. Here's a picture of a rabbit, and a link to a site where you too can make a Zombie rabbit float in thin.... I'm going home.

"Let's Train, Study and Live like the Anti-Japanese Guerrillas!" - an Apology

2006-09-13T09:26:00.000+02:00

"Three generals came to the foot of Mt. Baekhak from Mt. Baekdu by a crane, and they beamed so magic rays. The Japanese soldiers became blind even by looking at them or reduced to ashes, whole bodies burnt out. And the woman general had excellently shot arrows. One day, she shot an arrow at a wicked Japanese police, 100-ri away from her.
The Jap was hit in the vitals and died even not knowing where the arrow came from. More surprisingly, the Japs could not access to the scene in spite of their desperation, became blind and deaf by dint of the rays and the loud sound of reading the book of military science and eventually run away in a flurry."

I'm sorry. This blog has by no means metamorphosed into a North Korean commentary, but...

Last time, I was going to say that on each occasion that the Great Leader's Son, Heaven-sent Brilliant Commander of Mt. Baekdu and the Great Sun of the 21st century inspects a military establishment, he gives them a gun. As if they hadn't got at least one already. But I also have a sneaking suspicion that once the presentation is made, and photos taken, the gun is snatched back, to be presented elsewhere.

This morning, I was astounded to see that on visiting, yesterday, a company of KPA (Korean Peoples' Army) Unit 8211, Kim Jong Il presented them with the previously unsurpassed tribute of a pair of binoculars, a machine gun and an automatic rifle! Things are looking up.

This time it's flowers. Kimilsungia? (look it up...)

And then this: almost touching, almost true, I don't know... strange...

"Pyongyang, September 12 (KCNA) -- The 9th National Exhibition of Inventions and New Technology which opened at the Three-Revolution Exhibition in the DPRK on September 6 is going on till the 15th. More than 1,500 pieces of inventions and new technologies achieved by scientists and technicians of over 50 units of ministries, national institutions and industrial establishments are exhibited there. Some of the exhibits are actual things and others are on display in the form of diagram and software."

It's that last bit. "Some of the exhibits are actual things and others..." It almost makes me - would, were I not a Zombie - want to cry. Sorry. Sorry.

Anyway, if you have been, thanks for looking.

On the spot guidance

2006-09-12T10:08:00.000+02:00

Regular readers will know that the North Korean press agency is a deeply good source of Zombie language in action, exemplified by this recent posting. "On the spot guidance" is a reassuringly common phenomenon in the Democratic Peoples' Republic, and although here given by the Great Son and Utterly Incredible Sage Kim Jong Il was of course initiated by the Glorious Everlasting Immortal (deceased) Kim Jong Il, his father. Both had and have the tendency to turn up at schools, military establishments, dam projects and false teeth factories (really) and there to give... well, on the spot guidance, being expert in all things. This then would be rather like a cybernetician or other holist whose particular insight soars above the mundane causing shock and awe in all those prepared - and who, in the North Korean circumstance, would not be prepared? - to listen.

(Compare, incidentally, in the above photo, the huge, hearty birds in the cages on the right with the glimpse of the few scrawny birds, or at least their beaks, on the left, presumably the poor, tortured reality...)

Kim Jong Il's Field Guidance to Construction of Kumya River Power Station

Pyongyang, September 11 (KCNA) -- General Secretary Kim Jong Il gave on-the-spot guidance to the construction of the Kumya River Power Station. He was greeted on the spot by commanding officers of the unit of the Korean People's Army participating in the construction and leading officials of the Kumya River Hydro-Power Station Construction Office and the South Hamgyong Provincial Construction Corps.
The builders of the power station are now stepping up the dam construction in real earnest after finishing the dam groundwork project through vigorous endeavors to implement the tasks given by Kim Jong Il when he was visiting the construction site in April of 2003.
After being briefed on the construction before a huge painting showing a panoramic view of the power station, he looked round the construction site. He acquainted himself in detail with the progress made in the project and said that the power station is under construction in a good place after being successfully designed to ensure its profitability. He was greatly satisfied to see the power station now under construction as one more asset of eternal value and a great structure.
He highly appreciated the successes made by the KPA unit, noting that it is a unit of merits as it has performed proud feats in the socialist construction.
He set forth important tasks which would serve as guidelines for completing the construction earlier than scheduled, saying that the large Kumya River Hydro-Power Station is of weighty importance in realizing the country's electrification.
Underscoring the need to concentrate state efforts on the construction of the power station as it is a gigantic project, he called on the Cabinet and central institutions and the province to minutely organize the work for winding up the construction of the power station as planned and take thorough measures to supply materials and equipment needed for the project on a preferential basis.
It is quite possible to complete the construction of the power station ahead of schedule if those involved in the project work hard with the same vim and vigor with which the servicepersons built the West Sea Barrage, which was very difficult and vast project for transforming nature, in a matter of a few years, thus working a world startling miracle, he noted, urging all the fields related to the construction to render positive support to those engaged in the project and the builders to continue displaying to the full the revolutionary soldier spirit, the revolutionary spirit of fortitude.
Stressing the need to build the power station in such a manner as to win the admiration of posterity as it is a precious structure of eternal value to be handed down to the generations to come, he called for paying particular attention to ensuring the best quality in construction.
He was accompanied by KPA Generals Ri Myong Su, Hyon Chol Hae and Pak Jae Gyong and Ri Je Gang and Ri Jae Il, first vice department directors of the C.C., the WPK.

Zombie stuff

2006-08-31T21:41:00.000+02:00

Zombie spoons.

Some thought-experiment juxtapositions... Can YOU imagine a picture to go with these phrases? Draw it and colour it in on a piece of cheap paper.

Zombie cheerleaders.
Zombie poodles.
Zombie bus pass.
Zombie chair.
Zombie cake.
Zombie toenail.
Zombie crab.
Zombie cup.
Zombie giraffe.
Zombie tree.
Zombie bush.

If you want to send a picture of your picture, please do, at

zpataphysics curlything aol dot com

And if you have been, thanks for looking.

ps - all of the above give hits on Google Image.

Biting the dust

2006-08-30T14:37:00.000+02:00

The trap jaw ant, sometimes misheard as the truck-door ant, can close its jaws so fast and with such acceleration (100 000 x g) that if it bites the earth, which it often does, it hurls itself by reactive force into the air (see picture) and thus escapes its predators, if not the earth's gravitational field...

I know how it feels.

BBC hippie star

2006-08-20T22:06:00.000+02:00

This afternoon I took part in a live discussion on the TV and radio sections of the BBC World Service, about "baby boomers" (awful American concept anyway) and hippies etc. I told them this profound truth, a propos of some people who insist on thinking of the generation who were in their twenties in the sixties as selfish: that a search in Google for "hippies" and "selfish" yields about 200 000 hits; but "hippies" and "sell fish" gives more than a quarter of a million, and I think that settles it once and for all. They seemed deeply impressed, though edited it out of the second, half-length transmission... and my joke about Clinton's saxophone...

But if you have been, thanks for reading/listening/watching.

Zombie Unseen Art, Mitropa and MO5

2006-08-18T17:53:00.000+02:00

This afternoon I went to see my "gallerist", the person who runs the gallery that shows my art work sometimes, here in Berlin. I took him my 1 gb memory stick, with some images of older work that he wanted for reasons, I think, of comfort.

His old PC couldn't read the stick. If he was any good he'd have a retro iMac like all the other galleries here. So I took it to a Turkish tobacconist's, who burned the folder of images onto a CD. This took about 20 seconds and cost 1,50 ?, and that question mark, dear useless Blogspot, should be a Euro sign.

The tobacconist cared not a jot what was in the folder. I didn't either by then. The gallerist will probably never open it. It exists in a way as art, but not art as we know it Jim. Its only life now comes from this posting.

Or would, were it not for the fact that I can not resist showing here one picture from the folder, of older work with hints of pre-Zombie non-feeling.

An ex-East German restaurant car nailed to an early Thomson MO5 computer. 1990

Or as the Arts Museum at Chiang Mai University in Thailand has it:

And if you have been, thanks for looking.

Everybody knows

2006-08-15T18:41:00.000+02:00

(The disgusting hypocrite Blair turned inside out)

Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died...

Part of "Everybody knows", by Leonard Cohen. Just seems right for these days.

Today's Competition and Zombie Art (Classical)

2006-08-04T19:54:00.000+02:00

Try, using Google, to find words appended to the word "bot" that yield no hits.
Saladbot, smegmabot, shoebot and shovelbot all exist, for example.

To make this posting look prettier, here is a picture of Zombie Art from the collection of London's National Gallery.

Image of the Day and eBay Feedback

2006-07-16T18:45:00.000+02:00

To those waiting for an image of a dog wearing trousers, turned inside out, (the image, not the trousers): here it is.
In passing, who was it - I used to think Churchill but no - who said "If my dog had a face like that I'd shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards..."?

By the way, you will not want to miss the fabulous eBay Feedback generator here.
Still less would you wish to avoid the infinitely long personality test here.

And if you have been, thanks for looking.

Disordered Universe of Discourse

2006-07-15T09:01:00.000+02:00

Clearly, we travel along life's blah blah journey as if it were nice and orderly; clearly it's not. Most art is made as if it were, though, even film. Erudite readers will know that the College de 'Pataphysique, founded upon certain ideas and principles emanating from the estimable Alfred Jarry, interested as it is with the science of exceptions, and housing all the OuXPos, such as OuLiPo and OuPeinPo - the potential literature workshop and ditto painting, but also other bodies where the X can be comic strips, cooking, police thrillers, music, history and so on - would most certainly NOT take things in a given order.
How then to explore the world, through art and science and philosophy, as if sequence and causality were not of the essence?
In literature, usually, a book is a book, and short of attacking it with a razor blade (pace William Burroughs) there is little we can do. However, there exist books to be read in no particular order. B S Johnson's "The Unfortunates" is a well-known example, a series of unbound chapters in a box, famously hard to find in its first edition.

There is also a most excellent website dealing with this form of spinelessness, and the purpose of this blog entry is to direct you to it.

As a thought experiment, or more: how would it be to destroy sequentiality in all sorts of other areas - of course this has been done if we look hard enough - such as music, cooking recipes, automobile construction, sex, and so on, and so on?

And if you have been: thanks for looking.

Oddity of the Day

2006-07-14T17:52:00.001+02:00

To avoid addressing more serious matters (viz., art) I tried to search for unutterably unlikely combinations of words in Google. For example, the serial cable, or rather the port, little used now, that used to connect Macs and other proper computers to printers etc. was called an RS232. I tried a search for Pataphysics and RS232. There were three hits here. Amazing, no? New Scientist, I believe, once ran a competition for singularities - a combination of words etc. that yielded only 1 hit on Google. Of course as soon as the results were published online, the entries became invalid.
'Pataphysics, as you will know by now, is the science of exceptions.
I am tempted to do the same for images - is there, in a Google image search, a singular pictorial hit? Yes! "Intelligent penis" yields only one image. It is utterly banal but it IS a singular image. You are invited to propose others....
And if you have been... thanks for looking.

2006-07-05T20:18:00.000+02:00

From the Mechanical Contrivium, via the excellent Museum of Dust:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Zombies!

The fingerprints of zombies are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
Zombies are the sacred animal of Thailand.
Devoid of their cells and proteins, zombies have the same chemical makeup as sea water.
Zombies are physically incapable of sticking their tongue out!
Ancient Greeks believed earthquakes were caused by zombies fighting underground.
Lightning strikes zombies over seven times every hour.
Never store zombies at room temperature.
More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in zombies.
The patron saint of zombies is Saint Eugenie.
Four-fifths of the surface of zombies is covered in water.

Frog Crumble and Consciousness

2006-07-04T16:48:00.000+02:00

As usual, there is (can be) no distinction for the Zombie between the value of the following two items of interest. As Monty Python sang: "Everything goes in / Everything goes out..."

Sigh... there IS only void, you know. All the rest's just... just... (shrugs). Doesn't mean we shouldn't stop arseholes in the constructed fairyland doing their thing, because we should. It's just that it's not a moral imperative.

The first: In the French town of Bourges, I recently saw as the first item on the menu of the Bistrot Gourmand, "Crumble de Grenouille", or Frog Crumble.

The second: A new book by Nick Humphrey, reviewed in New Scientist, hypothesises that consciousness is "just" an acquired evolutionary trait, successful because self-awareness makes us feel special and mysterious and makes us want to put extra effort into our survival. But, in the jargon, consciousness is "epiphenomenal" - it does nothing, and doesn't really matter.

In lieu of an image of the frog crumble, here is a picture of red.

There is a heap of evidence to show that it is as though we have an inner Zombie inside us, who takes all the decisions, has the real perceptions. Then we just "pretend" to ourselves that that's exactly what we wanted to do, think etc., all along...! And, yes, this does imply that there is no free will, only the illusion of it, thereby putting into question notions of guilt, responsibility and punishment.

Of course, your inner Zombie is by no means the same as mine, no one's saying that. But I am one of the few people to recognise and even celebrate that they ARE no more, really, than this Zombie. Try it for a minute... there, that didn't hurt did it?

And, if you have been, thanks for looking.